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The Forum > Article Comments > Narcissists and hotel maids > Comments

Narcissists and hotel maids : Comments

By Sam Vaknin, published 23/5/2011

How and why narcissists treat the world and those in it so badly.

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Wow. The word ‘narcissist’ (including narcissists, narcissistic and narcissism) appears in this article no less than 60 times!

That suggests a ‘slight’ imbalance to me!

Like so many other human foibles, so-called narcissism could be considered to be within the spectrum of normal human behaviour, in much of its milder form, and only problematic when it gets a little severe or causes other people significant harm or offence.

As this relates to Dominic Strauss-Kahn, the ‘innocent until proven guilty assumption’ is much more important.

Here we have a man who has basically lost his job, his career, his reputation, and his formerly highly likely future leadership of France, and who protests his total innocence.

Until it has been determined that he did what he is accused of doing and in the serious manner that it has been purported to have occurred, people like Sam Vaknin should NOT be associating him with articles like this.

Our whole legal system is supposed to be predicated on an assumption of innocence. But just so totally isn’t!! THIS is at least as important as the most serious forms of narcissism.
Posted by Ludwig, Monday, 23 May 2011 8:18:36 AM
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'Narcissists, like children, have magical thinking. They feel omnipotent. They feel that there is nothing they couldn't do or achieve had they only really wanted to and applied themselves to it.'

That's what they tell ALL children these days. It's standard practise in all schools and parenting texts.

Especially girls. Girls can do anything!

Don't tell me we are deliberately nurturing a generation of narcissists?
Posted by Houellebecq, Monday, 23 May 2011 8:46:45 AM
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OMG!

Houellebecq

Gangs of girls raping hotel staff.

Be afraid, very afraid.
Posted by Ammonite, Monday, 23 May 2011 10:43:25 AM
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Houellebecq, I do believe we are, and have been for about the past 2 decades, nurturing a generation of narcissists.

To tell our children that they can do and be whatever they want as long as they apply themselves is a useful encouragement and motivation - within the boundaries of acceptable legal and social mores.

It is largely failure on the part of parents, schools, judiciary and other authorities to teach, maintain and enforce those boundaries which has resulted in the prevalence of too many egocentric, disrespectful unpleasant children and young adults. Not saying that these will go on to commit crimes (though some undoubtedly will) but society is most definately NOT a better place for their presence.

Kids need to learn at an early age that they are part of the universe, not that it revolves around them.
Posted by divine_msn, Monday, 23 May 2011 11:03:16 AM
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More to the point, is the IMF a narcissistic bureaucracy ? The cap appears to fit.

divine_msn

I believe alcohol and drug stimulus is the driving force in a natural predisposition of youth, to display hormonal overactivism and unnatural levels of self-obsession (narcissism).

My fear for our youth is different to yours: I feel that compared to a time past, modern youth is stymied in social development by technology such as facebook networking sites which inhibit natural maturity and breed an inward looking product, devoid of ability to empathise and communicate effectively in the public arena.

In the contrary to trust, I believe our youth are growing into a system which lacks trust and faith in them. As an example, I sent my seventeen year old (trade)assistant to a Bunnings hardware store last week to buy a hand saw to replace one I damaged on the job; an innocent enough task, so I thought. He returned empty handed; denied the sale of a simple carpentry saw until he reaches the age of eighteen. That event is so far removed from the freedoms of my youth as to be rules applicable to another planet. I was shooting rabbits at fourteen with my own rifle and riding a motorcycle around while wearing no helmet, all acceptable behaviour: The young lad in question took his mate for a pillion up and down the street during lunch hour wearing no helmet (or shoes), if caught would be branded a criminal.
Posted by diver dan, Monday, 23 May 2011 12:57:32 PM
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The more common street language for Strauss-Khan would be "up himself"

That said, given the information about him that is available,
that was availabe at the scene, given who he is and she is, I thought
the American justice system can be complimented for acting so
swiftly. I doubt if the same would have happened in France.
Posted by Yabby, Monday, 23 May 2011 2:00:19 PM
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This bloke is a piece of work stating "A presumption of innoccence" and then bagging the French Socialist?
What say we all say "No offence" and then proceed to get very personal with this ugly little Narcissitict twerp? What would he feel then?
Mate, shut up, let justice take its course and then write your load of old twaddle! Oh by the way "No offence".
Posted by JBowyer, Monday, 23 May 2011 8:12:24 PM
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Some good points you make Diver Dan. I agree forms of communication have changed immensely but should that affect content so radically? Being a user of the technologies you mention to keep in touch (cheaply) with a diverse and wide network of friends and family I don't believe my ability to connect in the real world has been compromised. Ditto adult offspring who are well past their teens ....

I'm more inclined to blame social engineering that's led to stupid overindulgent parenting. Children who are not expected to shoulder any responsibility for household work, homes where NO is an unacceptable word, where all demands are indulged before or after the tantrums and Junior is praised incessantly, often for doing the most basic of personal tasks.

By the time Junior reaches your employ he/she thinks you should consider it a great honour that they have agreed to work (and I use that word loosely) for you. They expect whatever tasks they dislike they shouldn't have to do. They want constant rewards that are not commensurate with achievement. "Oh you took the rubbish to the compactor without being reminded 3 times and now you'd like to discuss a pay rise? After 2 weeks?" Certainly there are still plenty of good kids but there is a significent minority of the type thus described and I cannot remember a single classmate or workmate of similar vintage as myself with such an attitude.

Thus my earlier comment that kids should be taught early that they are part of the Universe, not the centre.

I say however it is downright ridiculous that a 17 yr old, a 12 yr old for that matter, should be denied purchase of a HANDSAW. I find todays world much more contradictory than that of my youth and generally less satisfying. Bring back common sense and the concept of responsibility for one's own actions - and SOON!
Posted by divine_msn, Monday, 23 May 2011 11:24:42 PM
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Yes...It is an interesting world built on shifting sands...
Posted by diver dan, Tuesday, 24 May 2011 8:17:23 AM
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