Yep I find women are natural exaggerators. Variety of reasons really including naturally inclined to panic. Not always a bad thing.

And yes men do usually pull out a few more stops if mum has the child 12 out of 14 days. But again variety of reasons for it including naturally inclined to be competitive. Not always a bad thing.

I don’t think it is confidence in children; in fact they damage themselves more with how they direct the negative inwards rather than direct it at a parent. That would be Personal Alienation Syndrome? I would not ask them for a decision more gage where their feelings are about both parents

Cause reality is R0bert if a kid has been brainwashed and is afraid of a parent then we shouldn’t force access until that fear is first addressed, even if false it is an abusive situation to put the child in given their beliefs at the time.

R0bert you gotta stop answering those calls dude. Did your kid fall for it? He probably knew you were okay and that mum got a bit weird sometimes and kept wondering what he was doing wrong. Getting older he probably decided he was okay and you were both weird - as teens are inclined to do.

What we are seeing from each side is Men are abusers and Women are Liars. It isn’t doing the children much good. And given the shouts are just getting louder maybe it is time for a different approach

Jewelery,

There was one little study (about 100 people) conducted many years ago by a Prof Parkinson, who was in charge of the Family Law Council (a bogus feminist organisation made up mainly by academics) that asked the children what they wanted, and the majority wanted to spend more time with their father, and the majority of fathers also wanted to spend more time with their children.

However, I discount the allogations of abuse as being a normal part of the DV or abuse card that is waved around.

Many feminists don't have children or want children killed in abortion clinics, or have no interest in what are the real dangers to children, which are being in the womb of an unmarried mother (likely to be killed in an abortion clinic), childhood diseases, accidents in the home, traffic accidents and suicide. Fathers are a very minor risk to children, and satistics verify this.

I think the real issue has more to do with having fathers removed as a parent so as to leave the mother as the only parent.

That is what is wanted.

Well done Robert. Jewely had almost changed my mind until your last post.

Jewely the stuff with the calls was years ago when my ex was trying to get a change in residency. It's all pretty good now, she married a great bloke and seems to be mostly in a good place. He possibly does a better job at diverting the excesses than I managed.

If discussions with kids were done deeply enough to get to some why's as well as the up front feelings and done impartially it would help a lot. My own experiences with the system suggest neither would be likely. I'd like a way for kid's wants to matter more without it opening things up to become a popularity contest between parents.

As previously stated a lot of the tensions between adults could be reduced by removing the winner takes all aspect of child residency. Property settlements are heavily based around residency and it's also clear that over time the residency arrangements can and should be able to change. The stakes are too big for both parents the way it's done at the moment.

vanna I've not seen any evidence that many feminists want abortion, what they want is the freedom for women to get one if they think they need it. I don't want my teeth full of fillings but if I have a hole in a tooth I do want the freedom to get a filling. I know teeth and fetuses are not the same thing but I think the example works in context.

benk it's a messy business and nothing I saw in family law suggested that those involved act professionally enough or impartially enough to give me any confidence that they would dig through the tricks parents use to get to a genuine best interests decision.

R0bert

"What we are seeing from each side is Men are abusers and Women are Liars. It isn’t doing the children much good. And given the shouts are just getting louder maybe it is time for a different approach."

Jewely
That is probably the most accurate assessment of these sorts of debates hence the impasse I referred to earlier. There is no point in simply hashing out worn-out anti-gender garbage. There are valid points on both sides in regard to the child abuse issues and the question we should be addressing is how to avoid wherever possible children being exposed to abuse whether it is via the mother or the father.

Somewhere along the way that purpose gets lost in these debates.

So much talk and blaming about a theory. Meanwhile real children suffer and are killed- because of a dis-credited theory.Some culture we live in.