Further to my last post, it was particularly good to see Greg Inglis score the first try - after about 2 minutes :D

Also, it's clear why the AFL wants Israel Folau, given the number of classic "marks" he made in the game. I've heard that he was referred to as a "coconut" as part of the same bonding strategy to which Timana Tahu objected.

Apparently Tahu didn't turn up to training with the Eels. Maybe Cornflower's right that he's undergoing some kind of crisis, but it certainly seems that endemic racism in the game is part of it.

Tahu was grist for the mill for a media and sections of the public who crave sensationalism and reduce complex issues to oversimplified and grossly incorrect stereotypes.

When they have extracted any worth for themselves and under the guise of helping him and making him 'hero' of the moment they will discard him and then he and his loved ones will have to put their lives back together.

For people who claim to have had Tahu's good at heart it was an astoundingly insensitive thing to do to hold his distress up to the limelight and hound him, his family and friends for anything, no matter how small, that could be sensationalised to garner a bigger audience. Anyone notice how careful the media and other 'concerned' commentators were to cast Tahu as a 'hero' to disguise their own abuse of his misery?

Of course there was and is a real possibility that this man could be suffering from a condition that was triggered or made worse by the stresses of life, elite sport, match preparation and the obscene remarks of a friend and comrade in arms who did not (along with others) have the sensitivity to recognise his hurt and help.

I am all for countering racism wherever it raises its ugly head but I do not go along with those who would victimise the victim in his suffering along with his family and all under the guise of helping. If anyone had wanted to help they would have heeded the advice given in Beyond Blue - the national depression initiative:

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

Help him first and foremost and above all do no harm.

Very well said Cornflower, and I wouldn't mind betting you are right.

These big strong men who are football players and are out in the public arena are probably the least likely in our community to admit they were in trouble and ask for help.

I too hope all is well for Tahu, and Andrew Johns

suzeonline,

Thank you.

It's all in the upbringing and socialisation. We take the capacity to be in touch with their own feelings away from them as wee boys and we teach them not to seek help. I'd say that the lobotomy to separate boys from their emotional feelings is largely complete by grade 5 of primary school.

The League does a lot to educate players on what is expected of them and how to behave, but without the self awareness as a foundation, that is like giving someone the road rules and safety briefing without first ensuring they can ride the bike.

IMHO men need someone they can respect like General Peter Cosgrove to lead and champion a re-examination of masculinity by men for men, with partners being welcome to take part after the men have achieved some headway and awareness. Leave the academics out.

I agree with most of what Cornflower has stated above. However, not all men respond to military types like Cosgrove (although I do admire him). Men are no more a homogeneous block than are women and as such require a variety of role models. Particularly for indigenous men.

However, while diversity encourages lateral thought, a return to the 50's model of (white) masculinity by promoted by Marsh and his brethren is part of the problem and therefore has no place in the solution.

We need men who can think for themselves rather than follow dogma.

Be that as it may, nothing prevents all of us from taking the personal initiative of treating boys differently from here on, which is mainly about showing them love, understanding and respect, without boundaries.

It is about accepting, respecting and valuing boys and which includes recognising their essential differences to girls as normal and reasonable.