Antiseptic, for the most part, myself and my boyfriends tended to take turns paying when I went out as a single woman. Luckily, I was trained in hospitals and not uni, so I always had money.

I do agree with Houellebecq in part though, because there were certainly those men who expected to 'get a reward' if they paid for my night out.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. :)

I guess these days it is more an equal payment thing when young couples go out. And so it should be.

Suzeonline:"Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. :)"

Operant conditioning is well understood. If you want a behaviour to persist in the face of a non-response, make a positive response intermittently.

Suzeonline:"I guess these days it is more an equal payment thing when young couples go out"

Is it? My own kids aren't quite old enough and I no longer qualify to be part of a "young" couple, so I don't have much recent data.

I have spoken to young men I know and they indicated that they are expected to pay the lion's share, They also mentioned that their girls all leave their cards at home when going out, relying on the boys to make up any shortfall.

Perhaps the girls are smart enough to know their judgement is impaired after a few drinks/pills and they sensibly choose to leave temptation at home, while the boys know that this is their wedge?

Either way, I suspect some form of sacrifice/reward for sacrifice is always going to be with humans as part of their courtship dance.

You are very negative about the human race in general, and women in particular, Anti!

Most women I know fork out their fair share for joint outings, but then most women I know are married (and working).

My husband usually pays when we go out together, but then he gets twice the weekly spending allowance that I do, every week, and we dont go out very often (and when we do it is usually at his insistence - I like saving rather than spending). I've always been that way - just as pleasant to catch a tv movie as go to the cinema, and much cheaper! So yes, I have usually insisted that if going out is not my idea (and I'd have chosen a cheaper option), that I dont pay, or at least dont pick up the lions share of the tab. On the other hand, if going out or holidays are my instigation, then I usually pay for the lot. It doesnt matter who you are, you can only spend a $ once!

Country Gal:"You are very negative about the human race in general, and women in particular, Anti!"

If you say so; I consider myself an optimist with a sceptical bent.

The only reason I post on these gender threads is to balance the interminable self-congratulation of women and denigration of men that was the norm before I started posting.

I think it's fascinating that so many women are happy to call me "anti-women" when my posts are essentially mirroring the standard rhetoric from feminist gender warriors, albeit somewhat better-phrased.

Country Gal: "My husband usually pays when we go out together, but then he gets twice the weekly spending allowance that I do"

Why does he get a larger "spending allowance"? Is it because he IS expected to pick up the cheque out of "his" allowance when you go out, or is it because he earns more or because he has more expensive personal needs?

You say "I prefer saving", which has been a common comment from women I've known. Funnily enough, they seemed to have no preference for saving mine.

This form of wealth transfer between genders is so entrenched in our society, possibly even within our genes, that it is simply taken for granted and very rarely discussed, especially when discussing income disparities between genders.

I'm not sure if you're good with maths or not, but this is a simple algebraic statement of the situation.

If my girlfriend/wife/partner earns x and I earn x+a, but I spend a+b on joint actiivites, then she has the benefit of a real income of X+(a+b/2) while I have access to (x+a)-(a+b/2).

In other words, I only maintain a relative advantage in spending power if I spend less on joint activities than the disparity in income (IOW, if b is negative).

If I spend money directly on her, rather than on joint activities, then every dollar spent is directly transferred to her benefit. I may reagrd all this as fair exchange for her loving company, but it doesn't shange the fact that it has occurred.