A brave position James has adopted - and I note Naomi is a ghast - what is a ghast?

James has a point; kids are often times symbol status, some live their lives vicariously though them - but why the focus on resident parents adn in this csae he really means the mother - when parents are seldom - excpet in recent decades looked after the kids. They might have looked after you and me. But all manner of child rearin has been in play over time and mum and dad have not always been at the fore front.

I wonder why he bothered. ANy way I'm going to go and look up a definition of a ghast - maybe I could get one; can you breed from them?

Sneekepete, a ghast is one of a set of fridge magnets. First you get a lert, then you get a larmed, then the more serious collectors get a ghast. The real cognoscenti spend hours on eBay looking for a palled.

Newsroo,
So I am to be discounted as being “reactionary”. I have noticed that if someone questions certain things, they are more than likely to be called various names, and I think that this is being purposely done, to try and silence that person.

You don’t speak for Cathode, but you seem to believe that fathers are not doing their part, by not spending enough time looking after children. It could also be said that many mothers much prefer to have the fathers out working and being the primary breadwinner, then they will use that against them at divorce time.

I have previously posted a link on this issue:-
“That's the irony. The married men who once were rated most highly by their wives - as partners and fathers - then have their willingness to support their families count against them. When it comes to a battle over custody, men who worked those long hours are least likely to be allowed shared care and usually end up with fortnightly contact. In fact, the divorced father wanting to see more of his children may be required by the Family Court to keep working those long hours to maintain his former family in the manner to which they are accustomed.
Suggesting that married men drop back to part-time work to spend more time with their children may set them up for post-divorce custody settlements but it isn't going to pay the mortgage or allow mothers time-out to be with their families. It will be a sad thing for our society if this debate convinces men that breadwinning is a mug's game and they should look out for number one - just in case.”
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/07/28/1059244556494.html

In all my personal research on the issue, I cannot find very much evidence to suggest that what is in that article is untrue, and double standards are being carried out by many mothers.

So if you want to call me names in the future, carefully read through any links that I have previously referred to beforehand, and also provide a list of names I can call yourself.

I am in your debt anomie. I will now go in search of all of them; and, if I'm lucky, I might find a nomie as well

That would be a stonishing. A nomie is a one-off.

Surely its a mugs game for both mothers and fathers? That's the trouble with the way we push men and women into such starkly different roles when they become parents.
After the extraordinary, revolutionary experience of 9 months of pregnancy and childbirth, the exhausted, bleeding (yes, usually for 8 or so weeks), stitched, bruised and shell shocked new mother faces home alone with her baby. She must learn to care for this unpredictable and demanding new person, and manage breastfeeding -the source of much pain, despair, anxiety and social embarrassment, until it settles down after about 3 months-more or less unsupported, and on very little sleep. Just when she wants her husband to mother her, as she mothers his child, he feels the pressure to be a good breadwinner and often spends more and more time at the office. No wonder new parenthood is the most dangerous time for many marriages. No-one's fault, just the stupid way we design things.
In my own case, my worst time was when I had a toddler who didn't sleep during the day, a baby who didn't sleep at night and a husband whose job took him away 26 weeks out of 52. Perhaps you can imagine what that was like? I broke my elbow during that period and my husband still had to go overseas for work, I changed nappies on a squirming one year old with a broken arm. Let me tell you, guys, if after all that we had split up and the Court had tried to take custody away from me... well, I can't think of anything more unjust. Fortunately we didn't split up. And before you feel too sorry for my husband, I still remember him ringing me from Tuscany telling me how he'd spent all day at a winery designed by Michelangelo. When he asked me what I'd been doing, I told him the truth; canteen duty. I do feel compassion for fathers who lose custody, but, to some extent, like all of us, you reap what you sew.