<Me either. And I hate people saying I’m being degraded without my permission.

<Posted by Jewely, Wednesday, 25 May 2011 9:16:04 PM>

Good on ya Jewely.

The porn industry exists because there is a market. It not only can exploit women, but it also exploits men as well.

However human beings are also sexual beings, with a wide variety of preferences, turns on's and turn off's.

I think it was Saint Augustine, who started the ball rolling in determining what was sinful and what was allowed, and it has been going on ever since.

Hestia I think that a lot of men would prefer to make love than watch porn. The reality is that for most men once kid's are around their partners sexual appetite takes a big dive.

There are a whole bunch of reasons for that, some valid some not. Regardless it results in a lot of men in monogamous relationship's not having their sexual needs met within that relationship. Most don't just move on and women tend to be very bitter about the ones that do.

Most don't choose to have affairs, many find that porn helps get the physical release even though it's a poor substitute for physical intimacy with a loved partner.

I wrote some weeks back about a book I'd just finished reading called "365 nights". It's written by a woman who decided a year of daily sex would be a memorable 40th present for her husband. He missed one night early on (New Years I think) but otherwise from memory he went about 10 months before he asked for a night off. I'm guessing that he did not look at much porn that year.

By all means support a "Make Love not Hate" campaign, in the mean time while it's gathering steam maybe a little less effort being disgusted by what others do in private.

Porn is a far better alternative than growing bitterness from unmet needs, it's a far better alternative than affairs, it's a far better alternative than pressuring a partner into sex that they don't want.

It is a poor substitute for the real thing but for many the real thing is way to rare.

R0bert

Waste of breath r0bert I think she's a one time poster. There are quite a few on this topic, I always wonder why this happens on some topics. It's good for new people to be drawn here by an article or an issue, but I don't see the point if you're going to just dump and leave. Oh well.

I watched Q and A since you and pelican have joined their marketing team lately. That Leslie Cannold I didn't think I liked her (Is she the one working with the NRL? Maybe I'm confused) but she made the most sense. She's quite attractive too:-) the photos around don't do her justice at all.

Houellebecq you may be right but I hope that there is some points in there for others who don't like porn but are a little more open minded.

R0bert

I think one of the reasons pornography is thought of as degrading is because God, or nature, has contrived to place the genitalia of women in such an infernally inconvenient location, that you've virtually got to up-end 'em to to get a good look at it.

I'm with Houllebecq on this one. We are all adults, ergo we all have the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality, to apply the good bits of fantasy-land selectively and appropriately to real situations, and to leave aside the rest for our own self-gratification, all the while without letting it get out of control, and without feeling ashamed of our own natures and curiosities. Anything else is unhealthy.

The angle I would like to take to this however is that, like any other form of aesthetic discipline, the difference between being into good or bad porn must surely accord with the level of taste that the person looking at it cultivates within themselves. To my mind, it is inescapably true that there is very little in the way of tasteful or sophisticated pornography. And I rather suspect that the reason for this is that sexuality is still a very under-explored phenomenon in public discourse - and the worst of this is that, because a lot of pornography is so gauche it ends up being exploitative, and vulnerable to bad-faith attacks.

But, given that we are all adults etc etc, I would like to suggest that instead of banning porn as Gail Dines would have it, we need to cultivate a culture of analysis and criticism of porn, in the same way that films, art, music, and restaurants are dissected, discussed and appraised. Because until such time as we can do this, the vast majority of porn will continue to languish in the murky realms of unaccountability, and will be a target for the un-reflexive, narcissistic Gail Dineses of this world.