The Forum > General Discussion > Violent Crime against the Aged
Violent Crime against the Aged
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You assume the varmints have scaled my five metre high electrified perimeter fence, crossed the mine field where there once was a front lawn, avoided several well hidden booby traps where garden gnomes previously stood. Should they cut their way through my twelve inch armour plated steel reinforced front door, naturally I would do what any self respecting citizen would do, come out of my fox hole, open up with my AK-47, lob a few grenades in their general direction, plus a couple into Bill the Greeks pigeon coop next door, hate noisy bloody pigeons disturbing the piece and quite of the neighbourhood!
Should all else fail, mother will be at the ready with her five inch howitzer. At the end of all that I will tell them in no uncertain terms; "No! I'm not bloody interested in purchasing the 'Encyclopedia Britannica'"
Funny thing happened down at the bank the other day, I walked into my local branch as normal, except I was wearing my full battle dress, AK-47 at the ready, can't be to careful can you, you never know what nutters are about. Well customers, staff, even the manager were all yelling and screaming, jumping under counters and desks. I yelled out "I just want to make a withdrawal!" The manager said "take what you like, just leave us alone!" They must have had a mouse problem or something to get so fired up like they did, can't be to careful can you.
Issy, is it true you carried off the Charlton Heston Memorial Trophy for the fifth year in a row at the annual Turkey Shoot? Is it also true your newest bestest mate, Steve Dicko Dickson, has been appointed chief fund raiser for the Shooters and Hooters Party? Just asking.