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The Forum > General Discussion > In regards to a generous gift.

In regards to a generous gift.

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Recently I've been given a very generous gift to help me and my wife from my parents. It's something I can't say no to without harming them for their offer, nor is it something I'll likely to be able to pay back.

My hesitation to just say thankyou and not feel like I'm taking advantage of them, has given me this question for any of you.

How do you handle a generous gift that you are unlikely to be able to repay?

Do you accept it warmly and say thank you? Do you reject it because it's too much? Or are you somewhere in between. Accept it with guilt, or with hopes of paying them back?

It's just an intreasting though.mmsomething that might be intreasting to hear how eachother reacts to being given a gift.
Posted by Not_Now.Soon, Monday, 21 May 2018 7:43:38 PM
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//It's something I can't say no to without harming them for their offer//

Nah, rubbish. You just say 'Sorry, I can't accept this'. They're your parents, for heavens sake. I'm sure they're still going to understand that you love them even if you refuse a gift.
Posted by Toni Lavis, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 8:31:00 AM
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Not_Now.Soon
You've already answered your own question, it was & is a GIFT.
Appreciate their kindness & thoughts. It dos not require returning the favour because kindness is not a competition. Simply extend your own kindness to all around you.
Posted by individual, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 8:31:30 AM
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I've seen a relevant quote attributed to A L Brown:
"If you can't return a favour, pass it on."
Posted by Aidan, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 10:43:41 AM
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N.N.S

The only person who can answer your question is you. Never rely on complete strangers; they have no skin in the game, and no qualifications to help you.
Posted by ttbn, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 11:35:35 AM
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Not_Now.Soon, simply accept it with long life gratitude.

Repay them by making sure they never have to go into a nursing home, & both of you will have your reward.

Well into my retirement now I have become aware that I should have given more to my kids, before the restriction of gift giving by anyone receiving any pension came into effect. The fact is now, that some nursing home may become richer than necessary.

I should have down sized & distributed the cash when I could.
Posted by Hasbeen, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 12:29:39 PM
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My mother passed away in January of this year.

She made me the Executor of her will. It was her wish that
her deceased
estate was to be divided equally between myself
and my two brothers. I followed her wishes.

Out of my
share I gave equal portions of money to my two children
as a gift. To help one with renovations on their home, and
the other - to put the money into a trust fund for their children's
(my grand-children's)
education.

I made the decision to do this entirely on my own. My children
did not expect anything from me - but they were very grateful
for the gifts. It made me happy that I could do this for them.
That's what parents do. They help their children whenever they
can. At least that's the way I've been raised. It's what my
parents did.

Thank your parents for the gifts that you've received - and remember
the biggest gift they've given you is life, and their love and I imagine - the hope
that you shall pass this love on to your own children. All we can
do is be grateful for what our parents give us - and pass it on
to our own children, who hopefully shall pass it on to theirs.
So that the circle of life and love continues.
Posted by Foxy, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 1:14:52 PM
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Simple fact, unless you asked for the gift, your parents offered it to you they would not have done that if
A. they could not afford too.
or
B. they did not want too do it.
So accept it.
Posted by Philip S, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 2:42:51 PM
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Give it to me, I'll look after it for you; ...promise!
Posted by diver dan, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 8:27:42 PM
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Thank you all for your advise for what to do. Expecially for those of you who spoke from the perspective of parents yourselves.

Before I wrote this question I had already made my descision on what to do, and acted on it. But my intreast was in how others react to a simular sitution. If you all are more at ease to recieve a generous gift, or if you feel like something is too much and hesitate or decline such things. That's all I meant it as. A conversation topic on how well we all handle unusual kindness from others.
Posted by Not_Now.Soon, Saturday, 26 May 2018 7:12:48 PM
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I agree with @Philip S
Posted by Greg_Parker, Friday, 1 June 2018 8:59:25 PM
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