Not-Now.Soon, I feel I will try to recall as much as possible about my 'living in my mind'. As I mentioned it all began as a result of an Aortic Dissection of the ascending aorta.

I was told many times by many people that I was lucky to be alive. I don't know about that but it appears the odds were in my favour.

Anyway I was very near RPH and attended to immediately, which would have helped. About the coma you ask. It must have been induced because I had open heart surgery, which meant open chest.

My story is a little different because apparently I would not stop bleeding somewhere in the chest cavity, so they packed my chest with gauze to absorb the blood and put me in ICU, on a 24hr watch and a nurse in the room with me the whole 24hrs, for several days.

I remained in this state for days. Overall I think I was left in the coma for shy of three weeks, I imagine to allow the surgery to mend.

It is relevant to mention that I was not expected to live as the 'burst' Aorta took out the Aortic valve as well. A lot of micro surgery and hours of op later, I was put in ICU with the gauze in my chest.

My experience began from the moment I was cut open. One thing I concluded later was that most of the things I 'did' whilst under, always involved people who were visiting me at the time.

One example was, I was involved in some clandestine activity which saw me and my brother in law and his wife crawling under an Australian embassy to escape capture.

At the time I thought nothing of it but later realised that there must have been something on the news on the TV and I incorporated it into my mental life.

My brother in law was high up in the immigration department, hence the escaping some overthrown regime and hiding under the floor of the consulate.

This was not dreaming. I was alive.

To Ashbo.

Though I think the question of God being real and the split question of ourselves are different issues. That doesn't mean one has evidance and the other doesn't. God is real. Look for Him.

As for your response.

[Until such time as there is evidence to the contrary, what we perceive through our senses and become consciously aware of (acknowledging that much of what we perceive through our senses is filtered or "interpreted" by the sub-conscious)is reality.]

What we know and what we understand is incomplete. It's only in part. Our understanding doesn't change our reality. As we grow older much of the world stays the same, but we understand aspects of it better as we age. Two things we need to discern reality is 1) a solid foundation to interpt our sences and understanding, and 2) we rely on other people to fill in the gaps, show us when we are wrong, or even test our foundations to see if what we think we know is true. That said reality is bigger then our understanding.

To Yuyustu.

You make it sound like knowing who we are is a deep philosophical achievement. And much deeper then our practical assessments. However I disagree. Often who we think we are is something that is not rooted in reality. People say they are hard workers, when they have no work. They are forgiving, when they have nothing to forgive. Smart, when they are not tested. And responsible long before they know what it means to be responsible. Most kids go through this in their teens and often adults farther in their life misjudge their self assessment.

Who and how we are is largely about discovery and then reaction. Then after that it is about effort and choosing who to be. This isn't so new a topic for me Yuyutsu. But as great or horrible that we are capable of being that isn't what it takes to be God. If we are not practical about our assessments then we risk turning it into philosophical bs. It happens, at all ages. If you're willing to be tested you might find a simular answer too Yuyutsu. Take time to measure your thoughts, to see what is reliable verses what is hoped.

Dear Not_Now.Soon,

I am glad that you disagree with me: this way you can have your own genuine experience of yourself rather than simply repeat my words.

Next on the journey, it is common to come up, as you just started, with our strengths and weaknesses. This is a good step forward, but we cannot stop there and be satisfied with these answers because strengths and weaknesses are transient, they can come and go, while we should rather aim to experience who and what the "owner" of those strengths and weaknesses is.

One point to be careful about during this process of pondering, is to keep focusing on yourself rather than on others (what if, who and what you are is different to who and what they are?).

While pondering, you should not go for deep philosophical achievements. Yes, they could occur, or they may not, but so what? There are already books upon books filled with deep philosophical truths that were written by people who searched for God, by people who pondered who and what they are and even by those who did eventually found themselves and God. If it were so easy, if all you needed was to read books, if Truth and God could be found by reading other people's accounts, then wouldn't we all by now be already enlightened, sitting next to God in His glorious kingdom? But alas, nobody else can do this pondering for you in your place.

ALTRAV, that sounds like you really are lucky to be alive. Glad you are. If your right about the reason for the people in your dreams, then that's a great way for your acknowledging their visiting you. Gives me a fresh view for visiting people who are in comas. Never know if they are aware of it and encouraged by it in other ways.

You said that it wasn't dreaming but that you were alive. What do you mean?

Yuyutsu, consider what I've said. Think about your thoughts, and your conclusions. When I think of a person living a lie. I think of an atheist accusing me of not living in reality because of my faith. On the downside this reduces my trust in what could very well be from God. But on the upside, what remains in spite of doubts and critism from friends is that much stronger. Because I know it's solid and true. I ask you to do the same. Test your conclusions for what is reliable. It's good to base your hopes on God, But not everything claimed to be from Him is from Him.

Not-Now.Soon, If you can imagine dreaming. What I was experiencing was, for all intents and purposes, real. All the usual senses were working as if I was awake. Smell, i would feel the environment such as wind or rain.

Dreaming has a rather vague feel to it and there is no continuity to the 'story' if you will. If you can take a section of your life today, with all the sounds, smells, wind etc; imagine you did all this but were not physically doing it but you felt just as if you were.

Because you are 'feeding' on your immediate environment around you physically, you incorporate things you sense around you in your 'mental life'.

I recall, more than once I was in a forest or similar, and The locals were using my chest as a means of fire for such things as cooking their food.

I remember looking down and there was a burning sensation and a bright glow coming from this large cavity where my chest was.

I reasoned later that I was responding to the result of my chest being cut and spread out so as to access my heart and other necessary organs.

But again, I was living this, not dreaming it, so it felt. On a more lighter note, don't believe too much of what you read or are told.
Even though you are drugged and unconscious, you still have some small levels of feel associated with what is going on outside your consciousness or your body.

P.S. I feel I must add that I was given Morphine for the opp, only to find out at my second opp that I was allergic to it. HAH, go figure. Maybe this contributed to my 'other life'?