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The Forum > General Discussion > My partner made me fat

My partner made me fat

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Jenny Craig has just posted the results of a survey of 400 people which, according to the press release comes to the conclusion that your partner can make you fat.

Apparently one in 10 women blame the bad eating habits of their partners for their weight gain, and 7% say their partner made them fat (not a lot of difference between the two figures).

Sounds like a bit of a cop-out to me, although I have had food problems in relationships. When I was married I weighed a couple of stone more than I do now. Part of the reason was that my ex sent me to work with a lunch that was about as large as dinner. But, when weight became a health issue (don't ask I still had a health BMI) I took control of my diet, and the weight dropped off.

Perhaps a little bizarrely, another relationship ran into problems because I insisted on eating too healthily, as a result of my previous experience. Mr partner had trouble adding her salt after the cooking, because salt in the cooking can promote hypertension! In this case I suspect I was making her thin rather than fat.

So I wondered how much a part food does play in the negotiations that occur in all relationships. Perhaps I just fall for food instransigents!
Posted by GrahamY, Friday, 22 August 2008 6:24:31 AM
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Why is the surname of "Mr partner" spelled with a lower case 'p' in the topic title Graham?

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to fix such little irritations, as a poster? Others think so too. See: http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=1954#40925

The seeming absence of feedback has been remarked upon in that Technical Support thread, "Suggestions for OLO". A summary of suggestions is contained in this post, for your convenience: http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=1954#43279

Ditto for the current TS topic, "THE “What We Have Here, is a Failure to Communicate” POLL".

And what are "food instransigents" BTW?
Posted by Forrest Gumpp, Friday, 22 August 2008 7:16:57 AM
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Thanks Forrest, I've fixed the heading. And also thanks for the suggestions on your thread. Unfortunately, we're always battling to keep our head above water, so while I'll have a good look at your suggested improvements, I am not sure how many of them we will have the resources to do.

And perhaps we should correct headlines for everyone. But as I wrote the one above and didn't notice the misspelling, it's a good bet that is what generally happens.
Posted by GrahamY, Friday, 22 August 2008 7:38:02 AM
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I, too, claim that adapting my eating habits to fit in with my partner has made me fat. In my case my partner is vegetarian - and I eat their vegetarian food to fit in but I eat more to compensate for the missing protein.
Posted by billie, Friday, 22 August 2008 9:06:31 AM
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Dear Graham,

It's just too easy I suppose, to blame
someone else for your eating habits.
Afterall, if you can't control your
eating habits in an attempt to "please"
your partner, what about balancing
the food you eat with adequate exercise
(even walking helps), and avoiding high
carb. foods in snacking.

Coming from a European background, I know
what it means to have a diet filled with
rich food. I had a mother who would feed
us until our eyes bulged, and her mantra
seemed to be, "Eat, eat, eat!"
"What do you mean you've had enough?"

Obesity, today, is regarded as an illness
for some people, as anorexia is for others.
The first step in getting over either, is
admitting that you're the one with the
problem.

"My partner made me fat?" Perhaps, but only
because you allowed it.
Posted by Foxy, Friday, 22 August 2008 9:48:36 AM
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I think there's an element of truth to this blaming of the partner! Self discipline is a necessary driver to eating well and maintaining a lean body weight, and it's much harder to stay disciplined when your partner doesn't have the same commitment.

I don't have a lot of trouble when we're home, but I do find it an issue when we're out and particularly when we're on holidays. His natural preference is to order deep-fry or to buy some pastry-filled goodies from a bakery. It's not easy to stick to ordering grilled fish and buying salad wraps when his preferred, and enticing if not healthy, food aromas are constantly wafting around your head! As a result, I invariably come back from holidays having stacked on a few extra pounds!

I can't change him (and I don't want to) but I often wish he was as interested as I am in eating frugally. Fortunately, he does go along with what I buy and dish up to him at home, and his weight is probably better than it otherwise might have been as a result.

So, yes, I think partners do have an effect on how we eat.
Posted by Bronwyn, Friday, 22 August 2008 11:59:48 AM
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