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The Forum > Article Comments > The marine who wanted more > Comments

The marine who wanted more : Comments

By Mark Chou, published 18/1/2010

A letter to the 'NT News' raises questions about equality between the sexes and how the military perceive women.

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I'm with Cornflower and Pynchme. This must have been a slow news day.
Posted by pelican, Tuesday, 19 January 2010 1:58:43 PM
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Benk: <"Why do we feed young women so much BS about men? It isn't really protecting these women to feed them this garbage. They will only have to learn these lessons the hard way.">

What BS about men?

Protect women from what ... and what garbage are they being fed?

Learn what lessons and what's the hard way?

Sorry Benk but I don't get your drift. Could you please elaborate. Thanks.
Posted by Pynchme, Tuesday, 19 January 2010 6:37:08 PM
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Sorry for any ambiguity.

One of the recurring themes of my posts is that much of the way that women are now socialised and much of what passes as feminism does, in fact, owe more to old fashioned ideas about women being fragile and needing protection.

In relation to men and love, few young women are now given the "men don't respect women like that" talk, not because men have changed, but because it might hurt the woman's self-esteem to hear that, under certain conditions, people might think less of her. Most of the books and articles on finding Mr Right are full of affirmation, but short on useful advice. They tell women that somewhere out there is someone who will fall at their feet because they are so wonderful. This advice makes them vulnerable to pick-up artists and unable to tell the smitten but slightly shy. There should be punishment cells at Guantanimo Bay set aside for the people who write this crap. Soapies feature male characters, who court the female characters. There never seems to be scene where they ask "is this guy genuinely interested or just after a little bit of sex?” Sex in the city was pure fantasy, but many viewers seemed unable to tell.

Women are being told what they want to hear (to protect them). They will eventually have to learn certain lessons the hard way. I still believe;
• That dressing like a tart or flirting may get attention, but not respect.
• That a woman’s ‘reputation’ still matters.
• That women don’t need to make any effort to avoid sleazy blokes, they will just suddenly stop.
• If he says “I love you” he is probably lying.
• If he seems too good to be true, he probably is.
Posted by benk, Tuesday, 19 January 2010 10:32:27 PM
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benk

The stuff you are talking about, regardless of whether it is written by feminists or not, is mostly written by women for women and it is up to women to weight the pros and cons and make their own decisions.

No harm in reminding all, both men and women, that we have to be responsible for our own decisions. People who take risks and make foolish decisions usually do so through choice, even though they might later try it on to make the other gender or the community responsible for the choices they have made.

What advice would you give to boys and young men? My impression is that they are often far more vulnerable because their parents, especially their mothers, give them very little advice on dealing with girls and women; they do not have the intimate discussions that girls and women have with their friends and nor do they usually have any supports to help make decisions or handle break-up; and quite clearly they take more risks, suffer higher depression and have a higher death toll through accident and suicide?

If you might sometimes come across as patronising to women it is because by focussing on women's 'frailties' you are so willing to dismiss the worth, welfare and quality of life of men.
Posted by Cornflower, Thursday, 21 January 2010 5:41:24 PM
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It is very hot and humid in Darwin.

When I go to Sydney people wearing so many clothes looks odd to me. Especially suits. Who was the brainwasher that got so many men to wear that silly outfit? Sheep!

Live in the tropics long enough you get used to people earing fewer clothes, bare feet and the rest of it.

Whoever wrote it was not from the tropics.
Posted by TheMissus, Thursday, 21 January 2010 6:02:44 PM
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TheMissus, "Whoever wrote it was not from the tropics."

Nor had s/he seen the local men in singlets and footy shorts with the tasteful splits along the seams.
Posted by Cornflower, Thursday, 21 January 2010 6:20:12 PM
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