It might be helpful to note that StopCyberbullying.org is run by WiredSafety.org. We have been working on cyberharassment cases and cyberbullying incidents since 1995, helping victims worldover.

We welcome the opportunity to work with others in Australia. We have many volunteers in Oz.

Best
Parry Aftab (my name was mispelled in the article)

As a parent of a 15 year old girl, who had a serious case of being bullied in late primary school, the issue of bullying, cyber or otherwise, is close to my heart.

It was a most, most painful half year.

What astonished me at the time, and really disturbed me, was how completely oblivious the teaching staff were. Even though breaks etc. were all 'supervised'. There was no idea of some of the 'games' that were played. Under their noses. Nobody noticed how repeatedly a girl, who previously was always in a little group, was now suddenly excluded.

When it all finally came out I asked the school about their policy on Bullying. And here comes my BIG gripe. A *Zero Tolerance* to Bullying, without being able to articulate that into what that actually means, how that is implemented and what happens in the case of, is no policy at all.

It was finally decided it meant 'to counsel' the bully. Didn't change anything of course. Made things more subtle and scarily nasty. To the point I contemplated taking her out of the school.

Somebody suggested "Queen Bees and Wannabees" to me. We read it together. We looked at the terminology identifying the players in the bullying. She was actually able to 'classify' the bullying and the 'roles' of the perpetrators, and her own. This exercise completely destroyed any power this little group of former Best Friends had over her. It had all been done before by others to others.

Taking the personal out of the equation was very powerful for her.

Even when the school then rewards the now reformed bully as class captain the very next school year (4 months later) because of 'leadership ability' as happened in my daughters case.

This resulted in us exploring 'Leadership'. Another much misunderstood and misidentified concept in schools.

Thanks for letting me know Parry. I have corrected your name.
Susan P - ed

'This resulted in us exploring 'Leadership'. Another much misunderstood and misidentified concept in schools.'

Schools? ha. What about politics. I suggest the school system for deciding class captain reflects the reality of our society quite well.

One thing to remember with regard to a school, and particularly the teaching staffs, handling of issues like bullying is that dealing with these issues is ideally not part of their job.

A teacher is employed to educate not to raise a child and concerns like malicious and socially inept behavior are wholly the responsibility of the parents. Schools do have specific behavior management departments tasked with dealing with these issues but I think people would be surprised at the almost absolute lack of power these departments have. Where it was once possible to exclude what is honestly a dangerous 'child' from a class, teachers are expected to just grin and bear it.

Personally I believe that if we, as a society, are prepared to offer rights and freedoms to young adults that assume a level of social responsibility on par with a normal adult then we should allocate comparable punishment when that social contract is broken. If a student demonstrates a constant disregard for the rights and well being of others then they have forfeited their right to comparable education. They may then engage in vocational or private study where the responsibility for their performance rests on theirs and their parents shoulders, if consistent achievement is achieved then allow them to reenter the school system, if not then they reap the rewards of their ignorance. If you make your bed you should be prepared to lie in it.

Absolutely right Houllie. Which goes to demontrate the lasting effects of the 'eduction' our society gets from our schooling. Including what we then simply accept and feel powerless to change.

Will supports my belief that there is also little clue as to what 'education' actually means.

Attending school is compulsory in all developed nations and many developing ones. Primarily because the benefits of a population that can read/write and add up numbers far outweigh an illiterate population.

Basically reading/writing and numbers is mastered by the time a child reaches 4th year of schooling, or should be. So, if that is all schools are there for then really what are we doing spending all this money on schools? Any literate parent can teach their child to do this in a couple of years. Maybe illiteracy should be slated back at parents too.

I have high demands on schools and teachers. They have such a vital role in educating future adults not only to read, write and do sums, but also how to use and apply those tools to become successful. Most of us know this to be true, hence the furious debates on private vs public education, rewarding schools and/or teachers for particular outcomes.

Bullying habits, learned, rewarded or 'gotten away with' in the school ground has consequences beyond just the 'poor' victim. Is there anybody out there who has not had some experience resulting from appalling management where bullying somehow gets mixed up with 'leadership' qualities? With luck these kind of people get 'promoted' side ways or upwards out of direct harms way.

I have to laugh the number of times I've heard a bully accuse others of not being a 'teamplayer', meaning really: you're not doing what I want you to do.

'Team work/player' is another of my pet peeves. The more it is exhorted the less of it there is. Take of 10 points for every sign, phrase, reminder it is displayed in a place of work.

'Which goes to demontrate the lasting effects of the 'eduction' our society gets from our schooling. Including what we then simply accept and feel powerless to change.'

Good point Anansi,

'Basically reading/writing and numbers is mastered by the time a child reaches 4th year of schooling, or should be. So, if that is all schools are there for then really what are we doing spending all this money on schools? Any literate parent can teach their child to do this in a couple of years. Maybe illiteracy should be slated back at parents too.'

Oh I so Agree!

In the end, I think at some point school has to converge into the reality of the outside world. I remember my primary school decided we were to have tests, but to never tell us the results, as then we might find out some kids are smarter and some dumber than average. We didn't play sport because teams would have to be picked, and there would be winners and losers. At some point school has to reflect the reality of the world or the shock is too much when kids find out

a) Life isn't fair
b) There are smart and dumb people
c) There are winners and losers

Lets put down class captain selections down to the lessons...

a) Life isn't fair
b) Being popular has it's rewards
c) There are winners and losers