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The Forum > Article Comments > A collective approach to smacking children > Comments

A collective approach to smacking children : Comments

By Mirko Bagaric, published 12/4/2007

Both sides of the smacking debate should stop abusing the rest of us with their hysterical tantrums.

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In publishing his best seller, Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care(1946), Benjamin Spock eased the anxiety of mothers eager to provide a proper, an informed, a latest-word on childrearing. I was two when this book was published and, while not a baby-boomer in the strict sense of the word--not born during the postwar "baby boom”--my mother was certainly influenced by Spock’s ideas as were generations after WW2. The book sold 50 million copies and, after the Bible, was the biggest selling book in the USA. The westernizing world needed a more flexible, trusting and individual approach to child-rearing and life—and the growing Baha’i community which I have been a part of for over 50 years---with its continuous need for pioneers who would leave their homes for strange--for other—lands and who would be required to work in and with groups—needed this type of person as well. Spock came along just in time—or so I like to think.

I am writing this prose-poem, not so much about Dr. Spock, but about my mother’s child-rearing practice, influenced as it was by this influential paediatrician and my early childhood, pre-school, experience. She spanked me once, found it of my use; gave me to my father who spanked me once and put the dfear of God in my soul. Before Spock, John B. Watson, a no-nonsense, no kissing, no hugging, no-sit-on-lap type of child-rearing chap held sway. Spock put some feeling and flexibility back into the process of child-rearing. "Trust your instincts," was Spock's advise. We are drowning in advice now.

Just before I left the classroom as a full-time teacher in 1999 and with a crucial stage in the parenting role also about to end with one year to go before my last child graduated from university, Dr. Spock died. He was 94. He had been around all my life: as a child, an adolescent, an adult, a parent, as a teacher and as a Baha'i. He seemed to deserve a place in my prose-poetry, whether one is a spanker or a non-spanker. –Ron Price, Pioneering Over Four Epochs, 11 June 2007.
Posted by Bahaichap, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 4:11:47 PM
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There's a few people missing the point on anti-smacking and why. You see, it shouldn't be about what's good for the parents.

Giving the wife a smack to guide her through a disobedient moment is an acceptable, and religion endorsed method of appropriate family behaviour to 1,000,000,000 people around the world. Yet it is abhorrent to most of us in the West. Personally, I don't hit my kids or any other members of my family. Nor do I hit horses or dogs. This is not because of a collaboration with the Lesbian collective or a sneaky political agenda to castrate men. It's because it doesn't achieve the best outcome for my kids.

In my view, parents hit children because they were hit by their parents. Frankly, they're just being lazy. Now, more than ever we have access to better information than our parents had and we can learn better strategies for dealing with our children's behaviour. Our job, as parents, is to deliver our children to adulthood with all the tools they need to be a good person. By teaching them that the way to resolve a problem or influence an outcome is to use physical force is just setting them up for failure.

Using examples of parents who fail to raise 'good' kids without smacking is not a reason to hit your children any more than taking up smoking because of the mythical 94 year old who chain-smoked since he was 9.

Last week a young mother said to me "I was smacked as a child and I turned out fine". I said "Are you kidding, you HIT children, what's fine about that? my father hit my mother regularly and she turned out fine too, so it's OK then?".

Evolution is hard. Do the work.
Posted by Hangdog98, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 11:39:29 AM
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The way I understand it from Aussie's who have posted their childhood memories and the way they treat their kids now, child beating has been a national pastime for this country. Aussie's should stick with golf, rugby, surfing and football. To stop Aussie's from engaging in legalized child abuse, the government needs to put a stop to all smacking once and for all. Only a weak and cowardly person hits a child or an animal. Stop being bullies and cowards with your children and start acting like grown men and women who don't need to hit children to feel powerful.
Posted by Alaska, Thursday, 9 August 2007 8:40:41 AM
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After having read an Australian Womans (NSW)account of her childhood smackings from her parents, I have not been able to hear or see anything about Australia without getting sick to my stomach. To think that parents down under willingly leave marks on their children as a form of discipline is a national shame for Australia. You need to change the mind-set of how you view children in your society. How did it come to be that Australians view children as small punching bags for parents?
Excusing physical punishment as necessary discipline is a weak argument. What does an adult do about another adult who mis-behaves? What do you do about disabled adults? The elderly? Surely you are compassionate enough to be gentle with these people when they act out. It would reason then, that you should be gentle with your children - kindly teaching them about life without the use of violence. I must say that your treatment of children is a gross stain on your society and could eventually be a reason that people stop visiting your country.
Posted by Alaska, Monday, 10 September 2007 1:31:58 PM
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