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The Forum > Article Comments > No safety for family violence victims in family law > Comments

No safety for family violence victims in family law : Comments

By Elspeth McInnes, published 18/10/2006

Somewhere in Australia, there are mothers and children who are frantic with dread, anxiety, grief and betrayal.

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"Now watch the posts pour in justifying male violence and employ name calling in the absence of a fair and equitable approach."

I'm watching, OK I give up.

Seriously Happy many of your "facts" are not, they are views that have been pushed with the support of biased statistics and outright lies which many have come to hold as such fundamental truths that they refuse to question them or examine any evidence that suggests otherwise.

Did you look at the stats on substantiated child abuse and neglect I referenced earlier in the discussion? Did you consider the implications of those stats when compared to your core beliefs about family violence?

The mens groups have raised awareness of the issue of false claims of DV and that does have a cost. Blaming those groups for the genuine cases that get ignored is hardly fair.

Much fairer to lay the blame at the feet of those who use false claims of abuse as a tactic to help get a better outcome from a divorce. There is where the real problem lies.

By the way has there been any posts justifying "male violence"? I don't recall any.

R0bert
Posted by R0bert, Tuesday, 31 October 2006 8:53:09 PM
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Posted by happy, Tuesday, 31 October 2006 10:38:17 AM

Happy you posted that your son got into trouble for retaliating against his sister who hit him first.

Congratulations you have successfully taught your son who is caught between you and his sister, that justice is blind and taught your daughter that she can abuse her brother with impunity.

There is a book on Parenting which points out that when there is conflict between brothers and sisters, it is the male child who will get the blame, it does not matter whether he is the oldest or youngest, even when he never started the conflict.

“Now watch the posts pour in justifying male violence” Happy

Nobody is justifying male violence!

What is really interesting is that domestic (family) violence (abuse) covers a whole range of behaviours, yet when it comes to the debate it always degenerates down to who does the most physical damage and who is more frequently doing the physical damage. Yet according to the advocates, the abuse (violence) is much more than physical.

http://www.mediaradar.org/WCHWMDS_excerpt.php?segment=1

“Dear Abby: Thank you for printing the warning signs of an abusive partner. However, you have unfairly portrayed men as the only abusers. Not so; women can also be abusers.
My brother was married to a physically abusive woman who exhibited all 15 points you mentioned in your column. It wasn't until he joined a support group and realized he wasn’t the only man who got beat up by a woman.
After much research, I find that women are just as abusive as men in relationships.
Women are able to get away with abusing men because most men are too embarrassed to report it. With the massive attention now given to domestic violence, it’s time the other side of the story is told.
— E. V. Liland, Dallas1

Even men who share their personal experiences find that, instead of empathy, they get the response Dear Abby gave this man: “Women have it worse.”
Posted by JamesH, Tuesday, 31 October 2006 9:12:54 PM
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Posted by ROMEY, Monday, 30 October 2006 4:36:10 PM
"The magistrate does not care that the childrens father has beaten the kids and emotionally tourtured them. (I had proof of everything)...
The father even told the kids thier pets were dead. ...When the family court make them go to there dads where they are abused. The father will not give the 9year old his asthma meds either.I think the family court needs to protect children more.It's not fair."

In my case my ex-wife not only abused the kids but she never even denied it and she was given full custody. She killed my daughters pets whenever my daughter came on access to my place so my daughter stopped coming. The FC gives access to abusive Dads but it gives custody to abusive Mums. It's not fair either - the courts need to protect the children.
Posted by Rob513264, Wednesday, 1 November 2006 5:25:04 AM
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Posted by happy, Tuesday, 31 October 2006 10:38:17 AM
"The men's rights campaigners like to move the goal posts. The issue was 'domestic violence' and what do men's rights advocates do? They do not stay focused on the issue but predictably redirect the focus off the topic...Now watch the posts pour in justifying male violence and employ name calling in the absence of a fair and equitable approach."

From a paper on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Domestic Abuse group, "the emotional and verbal abuse is the most damaging". I am sorry I dont have the exact reference but this valuation of emotional abuse is common enough to let it stand without specific reference I think.

I presume you would consider 'a fair and equitable approach' to include 'emotional and verbal abuse'. But these figures are not quoted by feminists, why? Because women engage in these types of abuse far more frequently than do men and in the words of the Aboriginal women these are the worst types of abuse - any fair and equitable assessment of DV MUST include verbal and emotional abuse. I am not trying to woman bash but simply get both sides of the story out. We need to stop all forms of family violence from both sexes.
Posted by Rob513264, Wednesday, 1 November 2006 5:35:01 AM
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Rob513264-
You are absolutely right- the courts favour the abusive parents every time; male or female.
I personally know of 2 cases where the protective fathers could not protect their children. Why? Because the men’s rights advocates have pushed a hard line for a long time that allegations raised in family court are for strategic purposes only. I also know of more case than I care to think of abusive fathers where there is substantiation of sexual abuse but the court will not order ‘no contact.’ These children are then forced to see the adult that sexually abused them. When the abusive parent then sees them for some time on supervised contact, they can then apply for unsupervised contact; it will be ordered, eventually.
I feel for you and your children. I know.
Posted by happy, Wednesday, 1 November 2006 4:49:47 PM
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Found this gem today!

Is Misandry protecting Mothers who murder and Maim
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2006/11/06/is-misandry-protecting-mothers-who-murder-and-maim/

By Teri Stoddard

I’m a woman and I used to believe what the media said about men. Now I know better.

The media constantly exposes us to inaccurate, negative impressions of and statements about men. In looking for the root of the problem I found a network of people who benefit from misandry. Many of these people work for or with the family courts or domestic violence services, often both. I wonder if the Violence Against Women Act funds misandry. As I wrote in It’s Not Your Mother’s Fathers Movement Anymore, I watched as representatives from domestic violence and feminist organizations slandered fathers to defeat California’s 2005 Shared Parenting bill:

“Fathers who seek custody, they’re not all great fathers.” That was the truth according to Mira Fox, who runs Child Abuse Solutions, Inc…Fox said, “Children are often given into the custody of abusive fathers”…

Fox’s organization, by her own testimony that day, trains people in the family court system how to litigate and adjudicate child sexual abuse cases. Is Fox guilty of misandry or ignorance? The January 2005 Male Perpetrators of Child Maltreatment states:

…fathers are, “less likely than other male perpetrators to be involved in sexual abuse.”

The Administration for Children and Families says:

In 2004, 45.6% of child victims were maltreated by their mothers acting alone or with other and only 19.5 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone or with other.

use the link to read the rest of the article.
Posted by JamesH, Monday, 6 November 2006 8:33:53 PM
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