What a beautifully written article, a delight to read. Well done. One positive outcome is that while women may be spending more than a decade ago, they are also looking a lot more beutiful. I was at the gym for my regular bodypump class yesterday morning and the young woman who usually occupies the spot behind me looked completely different. Much paler and younger looking than usual. It took me the whole class to work out what the differrence was, she hadn't put her make-up on! It brought home to me how ubiquitous the use of these products must be.

When I was emptying the donation bins around the city for a welfare organisation,the bulk of goods collected was women shoes,dresses and accessories, closely followed by exercising implements.

Men are not the only ones who spend on home repairs, eating out, gambling and holidays.
They car has packed it in, so I am walking, cadging a lift or the bus or train. Make-up is practically no existent, how can you improve on perfect? At 63 I believe a few wrinkles can be expected, but the grey reminds me of my mother who I only knew her to have grey hair, then white. So it is do-it-yourself by-monthly rinse day, subtle shade of nut brown. My daughter reminds me to colour up, when I let it go, and lately she hints to a hair cut. I have managed to grow it long enough to plat at back, and my arms can reach up and hold that stance for long enough to do a reasonable job. Why go back to moody hair dressers who believe I am not spending enough in their salon, so they hack it.

Then I have put on a few extra kilograms that make life a bit unpleasant if I am walking up hill & have shopping to carry, and it gets hotter as the day goes on. I believe I eat healthy, just a bit too many mouthfuls, possibly the bacteria in my gut, or a hydatids tape-worm, is anyone’s guess, but one would think I would be looking lean if one or more of those wretches invaded the dark spaces of my interior.

I don’t have the money for gyms, nor is there one in the vicinity of my home, so it will be walking, plating my hair, pushing the mower and digging the ground to plant more exotic flowers, herbs & unusual vegetables & native plants that the passer-by mistake for drugs.

It struck me as funny that this article mentions the cost of being "decently covered." The priority at present seems to be indecency. Is anyone else sick of seeing pairs of tits walking around - they confront you before you get a chance to look at the face behind them and if you are trying to have some semblance of an intelligent conversation the tits are out front saying "Look at me look at me, don't bother talking to her ..." There has to be some happy medium between the dreadful Islamic total cover-up and the uber decolletage walking the highways and byways of the cities today ...

Well, I don't know, I'm a man but I've sometimes thought I wouldn't mind a Brazilian or two. I've thought that ever since I saw Brazil's womens team competing in the Beach volleyball at Bondi in the 2000 Olympics.

But, seriously, isn't what the article really identifying is the false allure and mystique of consumerism itself? That we want a newer, or bigger, or better anything, whether it's cars, clothes, house renovations, whatever, but gaining any of them only brings short-term satisfaction. It's a desire for self-improvement and self-satisfaction through materialism and consumerism, the modern religions that replace the ancient religions that preached austerity.

Possessions are just stuff. We take pleasure in them for a while but it is fleeting. Possessions cannot bring lasting happiness, in fact, more likely the opposite, through clutter and debt, envy and insecurity. Many people realise this when they finally gain a bit of wisdom with the years.

Consumerism drives our economy, but contains the seeds of destruction of our selves and our society.

This stuff isnt peculiar to women. What about the metrosexual nancy boyz. They spend lots on their own vain gullibility too. Not to mention all the other pointless expenditures incurred in order to attract/impress (and keep) a partner in this consumer driven world.

Its not like anyone is puting a gun to your head.

If it bothers you enuff to write a self pitying article about it, then dont do it.

What a load of rubbish. Isn't this another case in point that women are the weaker sex? Males are bombarded with just as much advertising designed to improve image but the majority of us, as evidenced by your survey figures, are not enticed by such images. We prefer to sit back and let the peacocks in their expensive suits and aviators in their ongoing pursuit for praise and underlying acceptance from all around them - how shallow. And what is the 'expected presentation standard'? If one exists for women then it also exists for men, but the majority of us aren't influenced by the need to fulfil it. And hence don't feel obliged to purchase the latest high end suit and silk tie. It is a sad state of affairs if women feel satisfying a certain image (portrayed by advertisers) comes with territory.

Well Proust. Thems is some bold calls, and for their boldness if nothing else I congratulate you.

I put it to you that men are just as swayed by expectation, though for men the chief expectation is not through the advertising medium, but the cultural expectations.

These expectations are along the lines of being able to fix a car, not caring about our hair, being able to consume a six pack or two during a footy game without any discernible effect (as well as knowing the names of every player in the match), a hatred of quiche and having no fear of any animal anywhere ever. Including sabre tooth tigers (a real caveman would have had a sabre-tooth tiger rug).

I'll admit I'm a product of these expectations, and I still feel a kind of genial contempt toward the 'nancy boyz' trade215 so eloquently described, who seem impervious to the good old fashioned male ways of the past, like mugby and the Holden-Ford debate. (I'll take this moment to chuck in a vote for Ford, seeing as Holden have been kind of stupid lately).

That being said, I don't think it's fair to describe women as the weaker sex... perhaps in being a product of our culture and feeling the need to project a strong image, men are being weak also.

Nah. That's getting a little too sensitive. But you catch my drift, even if you can't catch a football.

What about the costs of being a man? Although a lot of women talk of equality, just see how far you get with many if you don't at least offer to pay for dates and lavish them with gifts. Likewise, look at the results of divorces: a great deal of men get taken to the cleaners and then end up in virtual indentured servitude afterwards. Furthermore, despite it all, men are (to some extent) expected to be good catches in terms of their finances/income, at least in the middle class. Finally, given that women control something like 70% of household spending, yet don't earn that, I'd say they're doing okay at spending money.

I agree with many of the comments so far. Ultimately, it does seem that people (not just women) buy into consumerism, pardon the pun, far too much. Then they want to have a whinge. This article hardly seems like a case for why women are any smarter than men. Of course, plenty of men do plenty of dumb stuff too, and there are smart individuals in both sexes. If anything, this article actually just scares the bejeebus out of me -- that I may one day end up with some vacuous, image obsessed woman whom I have to constantly bail out of credit card debt, or that there's a really small subset of financially sensible women and I'll miss out or have to settle for one of the former. That's probably just my own insecurity though.

TRTL: I don't know about the cultural expectations of men. I'm neither blokey nor prissy I guess. I do fit stereotypes sometimes, but generally, I couldn't give a rodent's earlobe about who I'm supposed to be. Of course, that may be why I'm not a chick magnet...

In the US women spend over 80% of the family cash. The Minnesota Womens Press, a feminist publication in the very feminist state of Minnesota acknowleges this and calls it 'empowerment' If men did the same it'd be called destruction of the enviroment in the name of greed.

Nope the author has totally missed the point.

BUNNINGS

Now try and fit that word in with
"The vast majority of men prefer not to shop if they can avoid it."
"Recent research shows that men can only handle one hour and 12 minutes of shopping before losing it."

Do you have Bunnings in other parts of Australia? If not substitute another giant hardware/tool shop and you might start to understand.

If not tools and hardware add in other "gear" which can form the backbone of lifes necessities for some - fishing gear, camera gear, computers, 4WD accessories, golfing gear, boating gear etc.

We don't spend it on expensive undies because we already spent it on more important stuff like that new biscuit jointer or the new surf rod.

R0bert

We have Bunnings in Victoria.

Love it - I am a woman!

Get over the stereotypes, please.

Scout, my girlfriend loves Bunnings as well and one of my best friends gets picked on by other female friends because of her enjoyment of four wheel driving, fishing etc.

I know plenty of women like that stuff, my response was an attempt at humour at the authors one sided look at the expenses faced by women.

I also know some guys who spend lots on grooming. The stereotypes have some broad application but fail when we look at real people. Some of us fit them others don't.

The real misuse of gender sterotypes is in the article.

Cheers
R0bert

How to save money, whether you are male or female.

Don't buy unnecessary clothing:

So called Formal/Business Wear. The man's suit was originally a horse riding outfit in Britain and Northern Europe. Wearing it in most of Australia puts an extra reliance on airconditioning, which is expensive and environmentally harmful. I stopped dressing like that for business when I was an area manager for an insurance company back in the 1970s. I've been a social Ballroom/Latin dancer since I was 16. It's ridiculous trying to dance in a suit. I wear a light open necked shirt and light pants for dancing and so do most of my contemporaries. It's easy for the ladies. They can wear as little as they dare!

Sleepwear. Why wear clothes for sleeping in? Think about it, traditionally a woman sleeps in a dress and a man sleeps in a suit. Why?

Underclothing. Male, underpants. Female, bra and pants. Anything else is superfluous. And some ladies don't really need a bra. Whatever the manufacturers say, a bra will not stop the process of gravity, but a healthy lifestyle and sensible exercise may help.

Swimwear. Uncomfortable, unhealthy and unnecessary. And, for ladies, ridiculously expensive. If you have your own pool and/or are fortunate to live near a clothes optional beach you just don't need it.

Personal grooming.
Mostly hype, designed to cheat you out of your money. Most moisturisers won't moisturise your skin. Most make-up is just a superficial paint job. Most shampoos and conditioners can actually harm your hair. There are exceptions. For those who can be bothered, get a copy of The Chemical Maze [subtitled Your Guide to Food Additives and Cosmetic Ingredients] by Australian author/researcher Bill Statham [available at health food shops]. Then check the products you're using and prepare to be surprised.

Don't get addicted to anything. No smoking,no uncontrollable drinking or gambling. No uncontrollable "keeping up with the neighbours". Self esteem costs nothing. Trying to buy self esteem is likely to cost more than you earn.

Spend the money you save on keeping healthy and giving yourself an affordable, interesting life.

Rex: one of the best posts I've seen on OLO. I liked the tip about swimwear - should be optional at most beaches. There should be prude beaches, and the remainder, the majority, nude beaches.

Has anyone ever stood in a supermarket queue next to someone with a really full shopping trolley? Most of the stuff is either superfluous or harmful. There will be 10 bottles of carbonated soft drink - full of sugar and artificial flavour. Get used to the taste of refrigerated tapwater - extremely cheap and good for your health (in most cities). 10 different kinds of cleaning products. Most household cleaning can be done with sodium bicarbonate or vinegar. You might occasionally need something stronger like sugar soap or ammonia, but rarely.

Chocolates, cakes, sweets etc etc - ween yourself off them, slim your waistline and fatten your bank account.

etc etc

Is this is a spoof or a whinge?

I mean, "Do men have to take taxis at night just to feel safe? No. (And they don’t have to queue for the loo either.) It’s not fair."

No, it isn't. Life's unfair. Get a grip, lady.

Women spend more, pay more, shop more, self-indulge more. Men, well, "they spend on booze, cars, home repairs, eating out, gambling and holidays". All these things are more enjoyable than shopping, for heaven's sake. 72 minute's shopping is about 70 minutes too much.

Here's a secret - most guys don't understand women's fixation with shoes, hair, apparell, perfume & so on. They don't ask them buy all this stuff, and most don't expect it. When I ask women friends why they spend so much on clothes, hair, shoes etc., more often than not it's too 'just feel good about myself', or even to impress other women. Who's the author trying to kid?

Rex,
"if you own a pool..."
Another money saving tip.
Don't buy a pool!

A smile is worth a thousand dollars of cosmetics.
Don't you love it when you see some grossly fat chick spending a fortune on hair-do or something just as pathetic.
Just keep away from women. The better they look the more it is going to cost you in the long run; financially and every other way.

Hi Chris,

We all spend money on things which are important to us. As you will have gathered, my health is important to me. I live in a modest house on a reasonably sized block. I have a large pool in my very private back garden. I also have a fairly large area of brick paving, which requires no watering or maintenance. I have enough generally easy-care garden to make my surroundings interesting and it's all watered automatically from my bore.

I do my own pool maintenance and use just enough chemicals to keep it clean and safe. To keep chemical use to a minimum, no-one goes in my pool without first showering thoroughly. And no-one swims in clothes, undies, or bathers they've had on for a while. And dogs are not allowed in my back garden. I got this advice from a professional pool maintenance man.

Most of the year I start my day with a fast 200 metres. Not a lot, but a great way of waking myself up. In the hot weather, I'm in and out of the pool all day. I get value from my pool and I think that's the best way of judging if something is a waste of money or not.

One of my friends, a man who openly prides himself on making smart business decisions, called my pool "a hole in the ground to throw money into". He has a pool, but no-one in his family uses it. So I told him that he didn't make a smart business decision when he bought it. Maybe you're like that.

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If you want the complete reality of men~women spending power ,
I sudggest you take a stroll to the nearest mall and count the shops
catering to women and the ones for men , the proportion is about 20/1
this is true of the dollard value too , women are the biggest consumer
in this consumer society , made for them by the men .
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One thing the author seem to miss out on is that after a woman spends all this money on herself. More money gets spent on her as well.

Money that is spent on her by men, the cost of wining and dining. That little holiday up or down the coast, maybe overseas and all the hidden little extras.

Yep! women are truly are the worlds most expensive commodities.

Fellas, its a catch 22.

Consumption drives our way of life. Our standard of living is a function of the dough we make off the back of spending.

The players figured out a long time ago that the way to drive a consumer economy is...

1. create aspiration, envy, want, desire (easy to do)
2. feed constant message of dissatisfaction, that only buying stuff can molify
3. dont make things to last, design obsolesence,fashion and trends into everything. Continual replacement keeps the beast alive.
4. borrow lots of money and never pay it back in full... debt is the ball and chain, the drug that keeps us hooked.
5. never be happy, derive no independent sense of self, identity nor spirit which transcends the material... feeds the beast and creates a new area of consumption... behavioural/mood/self esteem pharmateuticals.

This is a pipe dream, but wiping out the pointless desire which drives spending would solve about 90% of the worlds unsustainable imbalances very quickly.

Its easy enuff to chastise women for their consumption, yet we do a lot of it too. In any event its what keeps the house of cards and hall of mirrors that is modern western consumer society in perpetual motion.

The typically diversionary 'we are bigger victims than you' and 'its all because of you' post by usual suspect(s) illustrates, there is a harsh and ugly truth that men need to acknowledge... for OUR own good.

Mens increasingly grudging, almost incidental acknowledgement of this self evident (but carefully concealed and sugar coated) truth is reflected in our lifestyle decisions, together with generalised disquieted disengagement.

Men are unplugging all over the place.

Mens choices are clearly reflected in the complaints about Peter Pans from Peta Pams and constant carry on about fear of making commitments (to them) from those with a fear of keeping commitments (to us). Men are choosing to detach, fly below the radar, vote with our feet (figurative and literal).

The harsh and ugly truth is...

THEY DONT CARE.

On rare occassion some of them claim to care, with words, whilst their actions (and inaction) stand in stark contrast to the claims. If you get enuff of a person going left and telling you to agree that they are going right, on the back of all sorts of mean-spirited game play... disrespect at the palpable lack of credibility ensues. From there, its down hill.

Easier to accept the awful truth, move on and make a happy, fulfilling life for oneself.

If they decide they WANT us AS WE ARE, we may start to change direction and make room for them. Women define the terms of relationship engagement... we adapt to their agenda, BUT only up to a point.

When people get too demanding and become unreasonable, unduring the nonsense gets tiring and eventually they're left to themselves. If they arent getting many takers, they need to look at THEMSELVES and wot they offer, tweak it up and they may start to get the sort of offers they want. No point complaining that the punters dont wanna buy my over-priced, under-performing, over-hyped product. Improve the offer (in this case just normalise/equalise the offer) and they will return.

If not, thats OK... life goes on.

Its very obvious and it bears repeating... THEY DONT CARE.

It is interesting that you regard buying cosmetics, etc as an integral part of being a woman – it isn’t, it’s optional. The, ‘we have to do it because men expect it’ argument is fallacious because everyman I know hates make-up. It doesn’t matter what you think it looks like – it tastes like perfumed dirt – try eating some sometime.

The income argument is interesting on a few fronts – if the opposite were true and women were earning more but men were spending more that would be interpreted as men exploiting women’s labour but the reverse is NEVER interpreted as women exploiting men’s labour.

These figures are also terribly skewed because an enormous number of women are supported by their high-earning husbands. The woman’s income is technically zero while their husband’s is astronomical but it is the women who live the life of Riley on that income. I know I used to run a Pilates Studio and my daytime classes were full of women supported by men but curiously not one man supported by a woman. These women spend their days, going to gym, shopping, having lunch with friends, shopping, playing tennis, going to the hairdresser, having their nails done, going home and paying the housekeeper/nanny and dressing up to go out to dinner – poor things – they are on zero income!

Latest stats show that women actually earn more than men for the same work with the same experience. There are other reasons, apart from supporting women why men might be paid more, men’s chances of dying at work in Australia are 3560% greater than a woman’s – men still do all the really hard, really dirty and really dangerous work in this culture.

I find it interesting that even ‘living longer’ is interpreted as a burden. What is consistent in this argument is that whatever situation a woman finds herself in – she will complain about it.

Rob513264,
I cannot argue with that.. Sounds like you have been putting up with it, so would not be much good as counsellor to my sons.. Two have had partner problems in last few years. You sound like you have had personal experience in this field, and very bitter at the female extravagance. Is it those credit cards to blame?

Women do not usually pull me up in the street and ask for money, only children & men. Why is this a phenomena of today? In the 80’s I would actually apply for ‘dirty jobs,’ and get told, that is not for you, you are a woman! Now it is common practice to take on man & women at these jobs.

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Income , independent income , is the key and it would be foolish
( and churlish )to begrudge shopping therapy .
Some women should accept than if it's their money it's their problem
AS INDIVIDUAL .

To blame society for one's maxed credit card smack of self deceit ,
to bemoan the nescessity of maintaining an attractive mien is a sly
lie , unless the tongue is firmly in the cheek .
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.
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"Man - it costs to be a woman".

Yeah, but only if you are paying.

Men buy, women shop.

Quote

Women retire with about half the superannuation savings of men. According to the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia (ASFA) in 2002, the numbers are $43,300 compared to $78,700. In 2019 it’s projected to be $77,000 for women, $121,000 for men. ASFA has also discovered that women are less likely than men to have actively planned for their retirement. To make matters worse, Philippa Smith, the ASFA’s CEO, says that workers combining two or more low-paying jobs could miss out on superannuation savings altogether.

Problem with that statement:

When couples retire together, the woman has access to all that 'male' superannuation anyway.

When they separate before retirement, say after 25 years of marriage, the normal court ordered split is between 50/50 and 70/30 of ALL superannuation in favour of the woman.

It is simple really; its in the genes.

Women want to make themselves attractive to men so that they have a larger choice of mates.
I can't see what is the mystery about it !

"self improvement is masturbation,
....now self destruction......."

Fight club, Chuck Palahniuk

Any generalisation is bound to be wrong. Spending habits and income are too individual to generalise, even for those with the same genes and upbringing. Most of my family and friends love shopping - I hate it! My husband thinks he's picked a winner - a wife that earns 3 times what he does, hates shopping and can be ready to go out with just 1/2 hours notice (it would take me 10 mins, but I've got a 1 year old to get ready too). On the other hand, one sister (who earns at least twice what any boyfriend has) takes at least 2 hours to get ready, and spends 2/3 of her income on "self-improvement" (clothes, hair, make-up). I honestly cant see any nature OR nurture element to it. Wastefulness (which is really what is being discussed here)seems to be a random phenomenon. Most of us (and the rest if they opened their eyes), can see that plenty of women blow their money on consumer goods, and so do plenty of men (they just TEND to be different items). Clothes, hair, beer, smokes, gifts, fishing accessories, the list can roll on and on. There is no difference to the underlying habits, just that they tend to manifest in different ways. Leave them to it - its their life!

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.As I was questionning a girlfriend on her beauty standards , she told
me than grooming wasn't for men , but for other women , some sort of
female macho dressing !does it ring true to the sisters ?