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The Forum > Article Comments > Parents behaving badly > Comments

Parents behaving badly : Comments

By Jane Caro, published 13/4/2006

As parents we are failing, producing a generation of children incapable of dealing with ordinary life, its trials and its tribulations.

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Mike M, Its reached its zenith because our society's become insular and self orientated. Have a look at history, you'll see parallels with whats happening. With a school system thats pumping out illiterate and self-centred people, with no idea of what caring or being responsible is, then you have reached the top of the hill and going down the other side You also see it in the collapsing infrastructure, social and essential services.

All the rhetoric you hear about new cures for illness, yet we have a growing incidence of failed care in hospitals and doctors surgeries. Having operated hospitality, entertainment, tourist businesses for many years, you can see the difference. We get a lot of Uni and college kids looking for part time work, yet most can't add up, nor write well enough so that you can read their orders. If they don't have till or a calculator, they are lost. They are rude to customers, expect to get their way with work hours and if something goes wrong, they instantly look for someone else to blame, its never them.

When I was young, most teachers came from the work force to teach. It was only primary teachers that came from college. So these people understood what it was like to be a part of the world. Today they only spend their time in school, any interaction with society is done on a limited fashion. Children of today rarely get out and become interactive with the community, they are insulated inside. We have this growing fear of kids being abducted or harmed so they aren't allowed out of their parents sight, yet the facts are the opposite. When they are, they are normally out of control because they have no idea how to act in society.

As most teachers have no life experience, just school, how can they provide an example or experience of living in the general society. You may also note, that they socialise mainly amongst themselves. This again limits their ability to be real to kids. Parents, have totally lost the plot.
Posted by The alchemist, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 8:14:22 AM
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Alchemist, your posts display prejudice unsupported by any hard facts. OK, I'll be open-minded enough to accept that possibly today's world is going to hell in a handbasket because professionals such as teachers don't espouse the same values as you do or because they don't have sufficient life experience in your view. But can you elaborate? What should teachers, bureaucrats and anyone else of whom you disapprove do to 'get the right experience' in your eyes? How about parents? What is it about your life experiences that we should accept your way as the true way?

You talk about how teachers were 'when I was young'. Well, I was at school in the 50s and 60s. There were 2 types of teachers - good and bad. I didn't have much of a clue about their life experience but it didn't seem to me that many had other careers before teaching. And if they had, would it have made them better teachers? That is not my impression.

Mate, you come across as a grumpy old man. So you had casual staff working for you that weren't much good. Can you honestly say that you used your experience as an employer to try to teach and develop them or didn't you see that as your role. What sort of teacher were you?
Posted by PK, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 9:13:25 AM
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I have very articulate kids who have been able to tell me the problems in school and the issues that they face as students and that teachers face.

For years I blamed the teachers for what was happening to children because I believed that it didn’t matter what environment the child was in at home that when they got to school they should be in an environment where there is consistency, discipline and rules, where they are treated with respect, where they are protected and where they are given the opportunity to learn.

However, it was my eight year old son who told me that I was wrong, and that it was the parents fault as they were not teaching their children well and that the teachers were incapable of dealing with what they had to deal with in the conditions that they were expected to function.

My son said that many teachers couldn’t cope and they yelled a lot and they were not consistent with their discipline and that it was very scary. He said that if there were one or two bad ones in the class, they set the example for the rest. That other kids were so scared of these bullies that they copied them and behaved the same because it was obvious that the bullies were protected in the system and that it didn’t pay to be good. The system uses group punishment methods for dealing with issues. It was obvious that bullies are more protected than their victims.

What society needs is a clear set of rules and guidelines to teach children and adults how to deal with conflict and issues. It’s no good just telling kids to work it out themselves and adults just ignoring, children have to be shown how to resolve issues fairly as otherwise the bully will just use force and the good will suffer.

I believe that students who cannot mix with other students without ruining other children’s education should be educated by their parents at home on Distance Education.
Posted by Jolanda, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 10:02:48 AM
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Natural selection.

the strong survive, and the weak and vulnerable fall by the wayside.

It has happenned since day dot.

If you dont like it, teach your child to be strong, teach them to be independant, dont shelter them from the perils of the world as that is life, and their expecriences is what makes them a well rounded person.

Independance is the key, let them make mistakes, pick them up when they fall, but the problem with society these days is we shelter too much.

I thank god my 'parent' let me run wild, although many children made the wrong decisions when i grew up my independance enabled me to tackle life head on, have experience in an array of situations and now for my age i would be in the top 1% of successful people.

If mummy and daddy are their to help the little darlings all the way, you are teaching your child dependance and ruining the future.

Thanks to these parents for loving their kids, but from the side of the independant kids thanks alot for giving us the competitive advantage in life.
Posted by Realist, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 1:27:00 PM
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Realist,
Strength is not independence or dependence.
Strength is neither but is the combination of both in a social and cohesive society.
Strength is lifting the weak. No one on this planet is independent of other people.
We need each other. Any person who doesn't is weakened.
Posted by GlenWriter, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 1:38:37 PM
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I think your friend was more concerned with how her child would cope with being 10th or 11th instead of 1st or 2nd. Kids have a tendency to know where they are in the order of things, it is parents like your friend that don't.

If the classwork is too difficult then the child will get put into a class where the work isn't too difficult - it ain't rocket science ... although that might harm your friend's ego a little bit ;-)
Posted by Freethinker, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 5:34:04 PM
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