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The Forum > Article Comments > Is all fair in love and war? > Comments

Is all fair in love and war? : Comments

By Lisa Harrison, published 19/8/2013

Despite married and divorced individuals both hoping to retire at the same age, this 'hidden cost of divorce' can add 10 years to the working lives of Australians.

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An excellent article.
I have emailed this article to my sister and a friend, who are both going through a painful divorce of truly awful men at present.

Luckily, their lawyers have already mentioned dividing the superannuation money.
50% of all assets is only fair.
Posted by Suseonline, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 2:09:11 AM
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I agree, Suse, provided there's been 50% contribution. Far too often what happens is that an already successful man marries a woman far less successful, or perhaps a woman who is on her second marriage with a child, supports her in a lifestyle far beyond what she might otherwise reasonably be able to expect and when the marriage breaks down she expects him to continue to do so.

A fair split of assets has to reflect the initial contribution of each party to the pool, the contribution of each party within the marriage and the earning capacity of each party cetera paribus. It is not reasonable, for example, for a wife to choose not to work because a husband is capable of supporting her and then to claim that she is disadvantaged because the existence of that support caused her not to work and hence to fail to contribute. On the other hand, if she doesn't work because she is caring for young children, or because the husband wishes to be seen to display his earning prowess by supporting a dependent spouse and as a result she foregoes opportunities to contribute that she might otherwise have embraced, then he should be liable for her future loss.

The fact that your friends think their husbands are "awful" is irrelevant. They chose to marry and how do we know the wives are not just as awful or worse?

That's all beside the point. The Suncorp piece is an incitement to women to seek divorce through publicising something that is already a well-known fact to lawyers. There is no public interest in doing so, since if a lawyer fails to advise his client at the time of lodging her claim for property settlement, then he is negligent. She doesn't need to have it publicised so she knows to ask him.

Maggots.
Posted by Antiseptic, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 3:47:39 AM
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Antiseptic I think the author can write whatever she wants, whether you like it or not.
Calling her names just says more about you than her.
The truth hurts...
Posted by Suseonline, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 8:42:53 AM
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Actually, Suse, as a highly credentialled nursing assistant you should be well aware of the beneficial effects of housefly maggots on purulent wounds. They're great at getting rid of the pus so it doesn't interfere with the targetted application of antiseptic to kill infection.

Sadly, the screwfly maggot we're seeing here just digs itself in and attaches to a convenient vein, causing ulceration and scabbing.
Posted by Antiseptic, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 9:05:56 AM
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No not all is fair in love and war.

There are a lot of issues that don't seem to make the agendas of some.

Antiseptic has pointed out some already and there are range of other issues. I'll bullet point some that I can think of that seem to be ignored.

- Earning level of the parties prior to the arrival of any children.
- Who's wishes were involved when one partner in the relationship either reduces their income or chooses not to advance career or skills during that period? It is sometimes a woman having little choice but to be the stay at home parent but it's my impression for many it's a strongly sought preference and the idea of their partner having that option is not one they would seriously consider.
- The impact of so called child support laws on the ability of those on the wrong side of that formula to rebuild their lives. Typically the payer but there are situations where a wealthy non-custodial parent is effectively relieved of financial responsibility for their children leaving the other party to carry all the costs.
- Gender differences in a willingness to form a relationship with someone with less income or assets than themselves. Does not apply to everyone but there are some clear differences between genders.
- If property is proportioned at settlement on the basis of perceived future earnings of the parties or the care of children at the time of the settlement the inability to revisit that if either changes later.

R0bert
Posted by R0bert, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 12:14:41 PM
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My take on the disaster zone under discussion here is that it is strange that no-one seems to have picked up on the most obvious solution - which is to revalorise life-time commitment to the sexual partner with whom one has had children. This may involve serious attention to a) the rearing of boys so that they don't grown up hating women (mothers) and b) providing sex education of a vastly different kind to that currently provided.It may also involve getting high school girls to pay some serious attention to "The Rules" (vols 1 & 2) and the underlying economics of Jane Austen novels. It would be so nice to have 'the family' once more back in focus as the primary political and soci-economic unit, rather than that misbegotten creature, the "independent individual". BTW that life-time commitment mentioned above is unlikely to eventuate unless we get our teens once more back into humming such tunes as "love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage - you can't have one without the o-o-other!" Further to this, there is a geo-political rationale with which our 'leaders' ought to concern themselves, namely the high likelihood of cultural suicide if we pursue out current path away from norms and into 'diversity of family forms'. Numbers have a certain potency, and non-replacement levels of reproducing the next generation is not looking like a bright choice. Tony Abbot's solution may have a few rough edges to deal with (not least the way it involves the state as the financier of female fertility), but I think he has at least seen the problem. The femocrat-led war on the companionate marriage sold the great majority of women down the river.
Posted by veritas, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 1:46:05 PM
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