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The Forum > Article Comments > Understanding the transsexual journey > Comments

Understanding the transsexual journey : Comments

By Walt Heyer, published 2/12/2011

Walt Heyer’s book examines some of the stereotypes of being transsexual.

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Walt, I don't even know why you'd bother to write a book on this subject and bring it to Australia. I get the impression, hopefully wrongly, that the objective is to point out to these people that they'll never truly be the sex they wish to be and a quick DNA test will reveal the "lie."

In the past, I've counselled transsexual people and have done follow up studies on several of them. I'll agree that the attempted suicide and self harm rate is very high, but it's often in the pre-transition stage. With the odd exception most post-op transsexuals I've known have gone on to become very successful people, blending into society and disappearing within it.

The depression I've witnessed amongst transsexuals has usually been caused by discrimination on various levels, workplace humiliation or outright violence and lack of job opportunities if the person doesn't "pass" well. Family rejection is also a huge factor in self harming or suicide attempts.

The last factor is relationships. Few people can accept the transsexual gender once the person's history is revealed. Many transsexuals live life alone and that's a burden some cannot tolerate, but I doubt much of the self harm and suicide is caused by "regret."

If regret is a factor, then the person has not been counselled properly. In Australia, the transsexual goes through a vigorous counselling and transition program with an outcome not expected in under two years. Deep emotional problems float to the surface during this time and only the genuine TS person makes it to the final stage. In Victoria, the program is only done in Melbourne which involves much travel for country residents and a good deal of expense. The process is not one entered lightly. Not in Australia at least, which make me doubt the relevance of your book in this country.
Posted by Aime, Friday, 2 December 2011 9:00:11 AM
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There is something lacking, and that is a better control group to compare their suicide rate with the suicide rate of those who have had gender reassignment. The suicide rate of those who have had gender reassignment is compared with the general population rate. A better control group would be those who felt that their physical body was incompatible with their feeling of sexual identity but did not have gender reassignment. It might not be possible to get the statistics on such a group, but that group would be a better control.
Posted by david f, Friday, 2 December 2011 9:06:23 AM
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I notice on your web site Walt that you have an article on the Australian Alan Finch........

"Alan Finch at 19 was a transsexual. At 21 he underwent sex change surgery and became Helen Finch. By the age of 30, Alan returned to his birth gender. He was misdiagnosed with gender identity disorder."

He didn't undergo "sex change surgery" Walt. Any transsexual will tell you that to change "sex" is impossible. What he had was gender reassignment surgery.

And..........

"Alan now understands what he needed was simple psychotherapy, not sex change surgery."

Walt, the last sentence is a total fabrication. What really happen in Finch's case is that a mob of vile evangelical idiots called "The Salt Shakers" got in his ear when he fell into their clutches and was brainwashed into believing that by changing genders, God had somehow disowned him and the only path back to God was to revert to being a "male." And the Salt Shakers aren't the only church to disown transsexuals unless they revert to their former gender. It seems there's very little of Christ's teachings left in todays so called Christian churches. This also causes a lot of angst for TS people when they're told God hates them and they're rejected by faith communities.

Oh, did I mention that he also sued for a large, but undisclosed sum of money? Bet the evangelists made a packet out of him!
Posted by Aime, Friday, 2 December 2011 9:25:59 AM
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I am unqualified to comment on any of this EXCEPT to say that, knowing the people at Salt Shakers, they would NOT have told anyone God hates them. They are committed Christians and know full well that God loves everyone equally, regardless of there behavior.

I know it is very fashionable to label criticism of someones behavior as "hate speech" but it does not reflect the truth. It is possible to love someone without accepting or condoning behavior that may be detrimental to their well being.

Aime, are you perhaps using your own form of "hate speech" and distorting the truth about Salt Shakers because they do not agree with you opinion?
Posted by Ray.moran, Friday, 2 December 2011 11:37:45 AM
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I think this article is an important step in getting past stereotypes and understanding the experience of those who are uncertain in their sexual identity. The points Walt Heyer has made deserve serious consideration and I would like to hear more about Walt's personal experiences as a trans-sexual.
Posted by Mishka Gora, Friday, 2 December 2011 12:00:14 PM
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I am interested in hearing what this man says about the transsexual journey for he has lived it from the inside out. Of course no one person speaks for everyone in their demographic, but I believe his voice to be authentic and it is likely he has spoken to many others in the same situation. I don't think we can be so quick to say the same variables are not at play here, especially when we don't keep stats on the suicide rate amongst this group here. I had no idea so many transsexuals were suicidal and find this deeply disturbing, especially in view of the way they are portrayed in entertainment such as Priscilla, Queen of the desert and at the Mardi Gras etc. Everything seems hunky dory when it is clearly not. Also I do not understand why DNA testing cannot be used to determine gender. Why do you think that is? Who gains from what is clearly a political decision rather than a scientific one? This article raises many questions. If we really can't change gender, I'm wondering why we are even trying. Especially when it leads to the disturbingly high suicide rate mentioned - though admittedly we don't know all the factors involved in that - and perhaps never will. Still it is clear there is much unhappiness in this group of people and my heart really goes out to them. Someone or something is failing them somewhere. This begs the question of what to do? That's why I think listening to this guy is important. Obviously he's thought about these issues a lot and has interfaced with many people in this demographic. Enough said, time to listen!
Posted by ForTheFuture, Friday, 2 December 2011 2:40:05 PM
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I can't imagine why anyone would put themselves through the terrible mental and physical anguish of a transsexual lifestyle without truly being born into that mindset.

No amount of 'prayer' or psychological 'help' would truly change someone who is born a transsexual.
If they decide to deny themselves their true identity and live a life of lies, for whatever reason, then they could never be truly happy.
Posted by Suseonline, Friday, 2 December 2011 11:54:14 PM
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A transexual is one who has had genitalia and other physical attributes modified so they can more readily be the sex they feel they belong to. As I remember there were no transexuals in "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." They were transvestites who are people who dress and adopt the mannerisms of the opposite sex. Transvestites are often homosexual but may not be.
Posted by david f, Saturday, 3 December 2011 3:16:01 PM
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"It’s easy to point out that DNA tells the true story of male or female. "

Except that 1 in 300 men don't have XY chromosomes, and some women do.

"A 46,XY mother who developed as a normal woman underwent spontaneous puberty, reached menarche, menstruated regularly, experienced two unassisted pregnancies, and gave birth to a 46,XY daughter with complete gonadal dysgenesis." -- J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2008 Jan;93(1):182-9.

So according to the author, this mother and daughter are both "really" male. And many men who have fathered children are "really" female.

And what of the 1 in 450 men and rather fewer women who are XXY?

For that matter, bone marrow transplant recipients bodies gradually become genetically identical to that of the donor. It doesn't change their sex. So an XX woman can end up with ovaries and other endometrial tissue which is XY. See "Bone marrow-derived cells from male donors can compose endometrial glands in female transplant recipients" by Ikoma et al in Am J Obstet Gynecol. 2009 Dec;201(6):608.e1-8

This myth that "real" or "true" sex is determined by chromosomes would be laughable if it wasn't used as an excuse to persecute people.

As for regrets... instead of the tens of thousands of cases of regret that are claimed, it's always the same handful of names that get recycled - usually touting books. As the treatment is only 98% effective, there should be dozens at least, just in Australia. Bit according to the author, there must be many thousands.

So where are they?

I'm deeply sorry that the author, a fetishistic transvestite, was wrongly diagnosed. This should have been caught, it's fairly obvious that he's not transsexual and never has been.
Posted by Zoe Brain, Saturday, 3 December 2011 4:20:05 PM
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I'd dearly love to provide a comprehensive answer to a couple of the above post. Unfortunately I don't have the time, but could perhaps offer a couple of quick comments.

To Ray Moran: Alan Finch made a mistake. I've never him, but certainly heard a lot about his case. It's been well scrutinised by all who were involved in the case and certain changes made to reflect this, but the salt shakers were detrimental in the outcome.

And on so called christian groups in general. The salt shakers aren't the only ones who have refused to let a transsexual into or remain "in the fold." I've known of several cases where the transitioning TS person (both male to female and female to male) have been harassed, abused and in one case, spat upon by Christians who believe themselves to be "pure of heart, mind and soul." I know for a fact that Jesus never taught harassment and abuse!

Also, some posters are getting gender and sex confused. A TS person changes their outward gender. As I pointed out in my second post, any TS person will readily accept that they cannot change their sex. What they do is change their gender to align themselves more closely to the gender their brain is telling them they should be.

Even Walt gets it wrong as he readily swaps between suicide figures for "Transgendered" and Transsexual" people. I really think that posters who don't know the difference between a Transsexual and someone who is Transgendered should not be tempted to comment on this issue at all. Oh and by the way, a "Trans" person is one who is "transitioning" from one gender to another. In the case of Transsexuals, once the transition is complete (and that completion doesn't necessarily involve surgery) that person is no longer considered a "trans" anything! On the other hand, "Transgendered" people are in constant flux, changing from one gender to another using clothing, makeup or simply imagination. This is often done in private clubs or secretly at home. "Transgendered" and Transsexual" people are two separate conditions.
Posted by Aime, Sunday, 4 December 2011 10:53:00 AM
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In short, the sexual orientation spectrum is a huge arc going from occasional feelings of wanting to be the opposite gender all the way through to those who undergo sex reassignment surgery.

Suseonline: Quite right! To be born a Transsexual is a terrible thing and I have known barely a few who have never regretted being born that way. Most have told me they wish they could have been born mentally orientated to their birth sex. Transsexuals are NOT created by nurturing or desire. It's been proven that the brain of a true TS has not developed the way it should. In other words, the brain's sex orientation is not the same as that of the body. I had one person once tell me "they wouldn't wish the condition on their worst enemy." True Transsexualism is a very rare condition.

Zoe Brain: You're on the money. This is a terribly complicated issue that few people have any understanding of at all. There's rarely a fabulous outcome for the affected person. As I said in a previous post, they may get mental relief from changing their outward gender, but loneliness and discrimination haunts them to the grave. Life's often better for them, but rarely are they able to take life for granted as does general society.
Posted by Aime, Sunday, 4 December 2011 10:53:36 AM
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Correction: I meant to say that I've never met Alan Finch. Please pardon the missing word and any other typos. I am in a dreadful rush at present.
Posted by Aime, Sunday, 4 December 2011 10:55:45 AM
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Aime,

You sound like the right person to address the following to:

From Walt Heyer's thoughts elsewhere (Google), Walt makes much of what he calls 'Transgender Delusional Disorder' - where he appears to contend that thoughts or wishes for changing physical gender appearance are in fact manifestation of a form of self-delusion - possibly based on his own experience of changing appearance to live for many years as "Laura Jensen', then reverting, and now living as a 'man' happily married to a woman, and now actively counselling those who find themselves having trouble with their 'gender'. And Walt now heartily regrets having some 'bits' missing.

In Walt's discussion of 'Transgender Delusional Disorder', he makes specific reference to 'non-homosexual' transgenders. In singling out this particular group he may be relating to his own experience and orientation, evidenced by his current living condition, or he was deluded before his temporary transition, or could be even more deluded now and living out some sort of a lie.

Walt makes much of the need for psychological help for the gender-confused, and infers that gender manipulation is Never the right solution - as his own and Alan Finch's experience would tend to support, as well as the pre- and post-surgery suicide rates mentioned.

Thence: Delusion may manifest when a homosexual denies his/her homosexuality (probably because of societal expectations) and thinks the solution is to change his/her appearance, to be able to act upon their sexual orientation without guilt;

And, there may really be no such thing as a non-homosexual with gender issues (inter-sex excluded), though some trans-dress or attempt transgender to 'fit in';

Therefore, one is either homosexual or not, and to deny this to one's self is delusory, and to try to fake otherwise is also delusory;

The indicated solution is to accept one's sexual orientation and cross-dress if necessary to feel comfortable; and for society to accept that there is more to sexuality than one' inherited genes.
Posted by Saltpetre, Sunday, 4 December 2011 6:43:11 PM
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Before taking Heyer's book "Paper Genders" too seriously in terms of what insight it brings to the issues faced by transsexuals who attempt transition, I strongly urge you to read his autobiography "Trading My Sorrows".

When I first read "Paper Genders", I couldn't understand the ridiculous leaps of logic he makes nor the attacks on the treatment community (as embodied by WPATH) made any real sense. Then I read his autobiography and a whole lot fit into place.

First, by Heyer's own admission, he wasn't transsexual to begin with. (He claims a subsequent diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder)

Second, speaking as a transsexual myself, Heyer's story as he portrayed it in "Trading My Sorrows" is a textbook example of how to get transition tragically wrong. Everything from lying to all of the people around you about surgery and other steps to having surgery before you have been living full time in the chosen gender role are in there.

( More here: http://maplecentrist.blogspot.com/2011/10/walt-who.html )

Heyer's story is more of an affirmation of the reasons for the existence of the WPATH Standards of Care and the caution that anyone considering gender transition should heed. Above all else, be brutally honest with yourself and those who are trying to help you. To do less is to invite disaster.
Posted by klf, Monday, 5 December 2011 4:18:21 AM
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Saltpeter, not quite sure what you're asking me, but I'll go out on a limb and assume that you're suggesting that some homosexuals may be confused in their gender role because of their homosexuality and believe that changing their outward gender will in some way remedy the situation?

Whilst I'm certain that some people, during their initial 'coming to terms' with their homosexuality may think that way, I believe that in very short order the person who has gone down that path would soon realise the folly of any such idea. And yes, while cross-dressers are often seen at gay clubs, bars etc, they are people far removed from that of the true transsexual.

Sometimes a TS person will attend gay venues, but often only because they feel safer in those places, especially if they're in a transitioning phase and feel they don't yet "pass" very well. The gay community tolerates them (to a certain degree) but a gay gentleman once told me he didn't have anything to do with transsexuals because "they're too female!" In response to my questioning facial expression added.... "They give off girlie vibes!"

Perhaps there's some confusion here in regards to "sexual orientation" and "gender orientation." Your brain determines which sex you're attracted to. Society tells us from birth that men are attracted to women and vice versa. A gay person first has to struggle against that notion that's been drilled into them from a very early age, however their gay identity will eventually win out.

The transsexual's brain tells them they were born into the wrong body from a very early age. Their brain's gender identity doesn't conform with the body they're born into. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex orientation or homosexuality. Sexual orientation doesn't even enter the mind of a small child. All they know and very strongly in the case of a true transsexual child, is that they should be seen and treated as a member of the opposite sex yet society constantly rebuffs that notion and the child quickly learns to suppress their torment.
Posted by Aime, Monday, 5 December 2011 1:28:07 PM
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Aime,

Thanks for that, I really had the bull by the tail, major blunder. Please excuse my ignorance, I think I was somewhat led astray by Walt's latching onto this idea of 'Transgender Delusional Disorder', but that is still poor excuse on my part.

I was really trying to understand, but got a bit far ahead of myself, and started delving into possible explanations and made some poor assumptions. More fool me. Thanks for setting me straight.

I don't wish to trouble you further, but I now wonder if Walt, and possibly some others, may be, or may have been, experiencing disociative disorder? From what you have said it seems highly likely that Walt's 'Transgender Delusional Disorder' is a misconstruction, an error?

Your explanation is very clear, and if I read you correctly sexual orientation/attraction is Not a major motivator for a genuine TS (someone in the wrong body), but that the relevant sexual attraction (to the opposite of the TS's revised, or corrected gender) may, or even may not, arise at a later stage, when one is more settled in their 'correct' body image. To some extent such a view may possibly be at some variance with Kif's post, which indicates that a successful TS would have to have been ".. living full time in the chosen gender role" for some reasonable period, and have become comfortable and confirmed in that role before even contemplating surgery. Then, of course, if any sexual drive is either suppressed or minor (or even absent altogether), the role Kif refers to may just be in daily living habits, and not necessarily involving any form of sexual exploration or partnership?

I'm sorry if I delve too much in my quest for understanding, but hope that clarification may prove useful to others who may be genuinely interested on a personal level, and to yet others who, like myself, may have formed some quite incorrect conclusions or preconceptions.

In the end result, Walt's piece has proven to be quite misleading, and quite erroneous in its suggestions, so it seems.
Posted by Saltpetre, Tuesday, 6 December 2011 12:46:42 AM
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Saltpetre:

By Walt Heyer's own admission in his autobiography, he was suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Although it is possible that someone who is dealing with transgender identity issues may also be suffering from other conditions such as DID, properly applied the Standards of Care would caution practitioners against recommending clients with serious comorbid (concurrent) disorders for GRS.

The most recent edition of the SOC is freely available from WPATH here:

http://www.wpath.org/documents/Standards%20of%20Care%20V7%20-%202011%20WPATH.pdf
(warning - it's quite lengthy now compared to its predecessor editions)

While it is possible for someone to "fake their way" through and obtain surgery, that requires a fair amount of intent on the part of the individual.

An honest self-assessment will stop most people who are struggling with other issues from actively pursuing transition and surgery as goals. While there is always a chance that someone who is presenting as transsexual is suffering from some other condition, a skilled therapist should be able to pick up on that fairly easily. (There's quite a battery of training and experience required, but that's why they're professionals!)

Heyer's book is more than a little misleading, especially with respect to his understandings of the transsexual experience. (Arguably, since he was subsequently diagnosed with DID, it's hard to accept his narrative as being descriptive of the transsexual community as a whole - which he never quite claims, but his writing suggests strongly that he thinks he is) ...
Posted by klf, Tuesday, 6 December 2011 5:41:46 AM
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Dear klf,

You referred to the transsexual community. I am heterosexual, but I don't feel part of the heterosexual community since there are many things that determine my identity besides my sexuality. I do not feel any common identity with Tony Abbott although I think he is also heterosexual. It is a major decision to decide on gender reassignment. However, once it is done I imagine one tries to get on with one's life. I am not aware of knowing any transsexuals. Possibly I do. However, I hope that I have more of a sense of community with many transsexuals than I have with Tony Abbott.
Posted by david f, Tuesday, 6 December 2011 8:04:15 AM
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Saltpeter, you've done what a heck of a lot of people refuse to do. You asked and you learnt something and the ability to do so is to be highly commended.

You really tested the old brain cells though for it's been over a decade since I moved into an entirely different mental health area. There's so much I could tell you, but word limit and my personal time is prohibitive.

David f, you raise a very good point concerning the "transsexual community." Whilst there are, or at least used to be groups in capital cities where TS people could meet and obtain help through integration, the TS community, if it can be said that one even exists (my knowledge as I said is very outdated) is relatively small compared to that of the gay community.

Most TS people who have transitioned simply fade into the general community and for all intents and purposes disappear. That's the very reason follow-up studies are so difficult to complete. The "former transsexual" (a fully transitioned transsexual) often returns to the gender program's psychiatrist for a couple of follow up consultations, then despite the promise of more follow up sessions, the person who is now relieved of a terrible burden, simply goes about their life and disappears off the program's radar for good.

In fact, it's been my opinion that former transsexuals don't seem to hang out with like kind. It's possible they feel in some way that one will undo the other in public, especially if one or both of them are having trouble "passing" well, although it's more likely that that the transition phase is the only connection they have in common and once they've fully transitioned, then they have no bond at all and go their separate ways.
Posted by Aime, Tuesday, 6 December 2011 11:16:56 AM
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Walt's concern regarding the high rate of suicide among transgender people is touching. Of course, the articles he links to tend to completely undermine his own positions, what with taking into account important details like how these rates tend to go down *after* the very transition he finds so harmful.

This "article" is a rare example of gibberish so profound I actually had to bother to register for some random forum on the internets just to comment on what gibberish it is.

Walt your history is tragic. I don't know whether the system failed you or whether you outsmarted it to your own detriment, but either way by working now to make life more difficult for people who aren't you, you've turned what should have been a cautionary tale about the importance of getting the diagnosis correct into a joke about the little bigot that couldn't.
Posted by auntiewarhol, Wednesday, 7 December 2011 2:06:43 AM
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