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The Forum > Article Comments > Picking sides can make you a man > Comments

Picking sides can make you a man : Comments

By Kevin Maher, published 25/11/2011

Domestic violence: Men being not violent and not silent.

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Suseonline, DV IS largely committed by the "lower classes". There are no doubt violent men and women living in the richest suburbs, but just as the burglary squad is likely to be much busier in the poorest suburbs, so is the DV squad.

Pretending otherwise is purely for the purpose of gender politics.

As I said, all the events publicised by the WRD people are for people just like you - women who work in public institutions. Obviously their audience targetting is working a treat.

579, I know a young man who has 3 children to a wife who has a big problem with temper, especially when she can't get her dose of marijuana, which she uses very heavily. He hits her to stop her hitting the kids, who cop the rough edge of it. I gave him a hand a couple of days ago to patch some 5 holes that she punched in the wall in the kitchen, with her sitting in the lounge room saying things like "make sure you do a good effin' job" and the kids ordered to "keep ya effin' mouths shut ya little carnts". I asked him why he puts up with it and all he could say was "what else can I do? If I get DOCS involved they'll take the kids". DOCS have told him this and as he grew up in care he's terriified of having it happen to the kids. He doesn't drink or do drugs, although he used to and he's doing what he can to keep the family functioning as best it can.

Frankly, I don't think he'd be too impressed to be told he's not a real man, no matter how well that might play with the WRD crowd, where there's nary a real man to be seen, just a bunch of self-serving exhibitionists all trying to get their bit of free publicity.
Posted by Antiseptic, Saturday, 26 November 2011 3:06:04 PM
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I do not see why he can not get help for the female without being worried about the dse. She is a drug addict, and has an anger problem. Two separate conditions, any one can have an illness , Tell him to show some leadership and get her some help. By not doing any thing he is aiding her condition.
Posted by 579, Saturday, 26 November 2011 3:19:16 PM
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He can't get help, because the DOCS have already told him that if she is taken out of the picture the kids will be taken into care. He grew up in care and has no support network and has a criminal record for violence as a result of one of the barneys with her. It would take more than he is capable of to prevent that happening

She already receives treatment which she doesn't comply with. He can't do anything about that either, since DOCS have made her treatment a condition of the family remaining intact. He and her parents do what they can to prevent the worst of the dramas with the kids and she's not a bad person if she has her pot. It's only when supplies run out that she has problems.

Frankly, if I were you I'd just shut my gob rather than cramming more of those size 12s covered in dog muck into it.
Posted by Antiseptic, Saturday, 26 November 2011 3:31:02 PM
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Antiseptic,

"DOCS have already told him that if she is taken out of the picture the kids will be taken into care"

I call bullshyt. DOCS are not going to swoop in and confiscate the children of a dysfunctional couple just because the less functional half shoots through - DOCS are generally pretty reluctant to put children into State care, and they'd definitely need a better reason than that.
Posted by The Acolyte Rizla, Sunday, 27 November 2011 12:12:47 AM
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The kids have already had one episode in care. You'd best give those size 12s back to 579: they're no more likely to fit into your gob than his.
Posted by Antiseptic, Sunday, 27 November 2011 4:33:49 AM
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antiseptic,

I love the '579' comment - 'show some leadership'. So after 50 years of disempowering men, it's a man's responsibility when his wife has a drug and alcohol problem?

We will never have equality because no one ever asks women to take responsibility for their own actions.

Both of these, white ribbon/all men are wife beaters day stories posted on OLO were from many years ago. This writer tells of something that happened 60 YEARS AGO. Does that tell us something? I'll say it again, 60 YEARS AGO. The DV lobby is really digging deep now.
Posted by dane, Sunday, 27 November 2011 11:47:39 AM
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