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The Forum > Article Comments > Picking sides can make you a man > Comments

Picking sides can make you a man : Comments

By Kevin Maher, published 25/11/2011

Domestic violence: Men being not violent and not silent.

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Please yourself man, but if I see some couple having a domestic in the street, I'm not going to intervene. Last time I did that I got a gob-full from the chick and the guy. In fact the guy used 'violence' to stop the chick swinging a few punches my way.

All in all, campaigns like this are disingenuous. They amount to nothing more than empty sloganeering, and sexism in the paternalistic way in which they promote men as the protectors of women, not so far from the keepers of women. They're for the exhibitionist and for bandwagon riders, career feminists and people looking for some good PR. Mathew Newton will probably join in with bells on.

They appeal to the 'white knight' to 'be a man', and aggressively or violently confront phsychos. Sure you'll get the disclaimer about doing it safely, or ringing the police, but what they're really appealing to is for men to be the paternalistic protectors of women.
The sub-text is indisputably of proving your manly masculinty, in fact I'd argue it's an explicit challenge. Indeed there is also the implied challenge to prove your bona-fides as a non-abuser, with the implication that you must differentiate yourself from some default position of an abuser just because you're male.

I find it offensive.

I await the campaign encouraging all Muslims to wear a red ribbon to fight against terrorism!

As a man, I don't respond to emotional manipulation and dishonesty such as this. That's MY manly masculinity. My responsibilites begin and end with people I care about, not no-hoper pikeys and drunks and their personal domestic disputes.

And that's to say nothing of the abuse of statistics that all lobby groups, foundations, and all causes these days employ for thier Machiavellian aims. Honesty goes out the window as a prerequisite for all such campaigns. I believe the misinformation and bias actually inhibit any real efforts to finding lasting solutions.

I would be remiss if I didn't continue my annual tradition of linking to this hilarious piece by Jack

http://blogs.news.com.au/jackmarxlive/index.php/news/comments/cross_fingers_day/desc/
Posted by Houellebecq, Friday, 25 November 2011 1:50:43 PM
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Most intelligent men I have spoken to support the White Ribbon campaign, and I have been pleased at how many men I have seen today actually wearing the white ribbon.

These men are strong men who are willing to stand up and be counted, even though the guys who still don't believe there is a problem will be having a go at them.

It makes me feel that there is hope for a civilised society after all.

We would never have had to start a violence against women campaign unless there was an obvious problem in our society with violence against women.

I abhor violence of any kind, but at least if two men decide to go at it with each other, they are on a much more even keel than a man against a woman.

We all know there are violent women in our society, but I haven't seen many men's shelters around our communities...
Posted by Suseonline, Friday, 25 November 2011 11:16:28 PM
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Great, the fake "suzeonline" is back.

Here's a quote from a WRD puffpice that pretty much sums up the whole effort:

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/these-girls-can-teach-boys-a-thing-or-two-20111125-1nz7z.html

"Dean Camm, 13, said White Ribbon Day was needed ''because men disrespect women'' - not that he's seen it except on television or in news reports."

Remember Senator Mason? "There is absolutely no excuse for domestic violence or sexual abuse of any kind against women, or children, or in some instances, against men."

I wonder if the good Senator has "ever seen it except on television"?
Posted by Antiseptic, Saturday, 26 November 2011 4:07:37 AM
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I just looked up the White Ribbon Day home page

http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/updates

Every single "event" is for the public service! Hardly surprising: the APS is approximately 68% women.

Meanwhile, in the real world, men are still not being abusive to women, jst as they weren't last night, except in the poorest and most desperate of homes. Never mind, "pass the scones Marjorie, isn't it lovely to have a morning off?"

What a bunch of self-serving tossers.
Posted by Antiseptic, Saturday, 26 November 2011 4:58:33 AM
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Domestic violence towards anyone is abhorrent. I wish domestic violence on the whole was the target of the campaign. I tried to educate myself a fraction about this campaign as I do with most that demand something from me. I was horrified to find this on their website. Sorry about the spacing etc, was cut directly.

What about violence against men?
While this campaign focuses on violence against
women, it is important to acknowledge that men
too are often the victims of violence. Many of the
victims of murder, manslaughter, and serious
physical assaults are male.
Men are much less likely than women to be
subject to violent incidents in the home and are
more likely to be assaulted in public places.
Violence against men is far more likely to be by
strangers and far less likely to involve partners or
ex-partners. Of all the violence men experience,
far less is represented by domestic violence (less
than 1 percent, versus one-third of violent
incidents against women).
6
Boys and men are most at risk of physical harm, injury and death
from other boys and men, but small numbers are
subject to violence by women.
This kit focuses on the prevention of violence
against women and takes for granted that all
forms of violence are unacceptable and supports
efforts to end it.

So, support it? I'm curious about the 1% as well because of the very reason women are represented more so in the stats. Men and women function differently. Emotional bullying is just as devastating as physical. Guarantee that goes largely unreported.
Posted by StG, Saturday, 26 November 2011 7:57:58 AM
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Oh come on Antiseptic (I'm not trying to be 'fake' actually, and if I was, I would have used a more different name!), everyone knows that domestic violence occurs at all levels in society. It is just more obvious in lower socio-economic areas.

The more 'intelligent' abusers know to keep the bruising on their victims hidden, and their victims are less likely to go and get help because they are far less likely to be believed if he is a lawyer, doctor, business man, judge, policeman etc.

It is only after the inevitable really serious injury or death occurs to the woman, that the long term abuse becomes known.
Posted by Suseonline, Saturday, 26 November 2011 10:50:09 AM
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