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The Forum > Article Comments > Abortion: Grief, suffering – or relief?‏ > Comments

Abortion: Grief, suffering – or relief?‏ : Comments

By Evelyn Tsitas, published 6/4/2011

If women feel grief after an abortion, then it probably wasn't an abortion they were really after.

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"So I have no time for the women who can't get over their abortions. They obviously didn't want to have a termination in the first place. While I feel sorry for them, I also refuse to buy into the pro-life line that every abortion will cause grief."

Agree with Jewely this is harsh. Your compassion for women who experience high risk pregnancies and in some cases premature birth or miscarriage is strongly juxtaposed against this statement.

Why is it so difficult to believe that women who have abortions might feel some level of regret or pain, or that the decision is an easy one. You assume all women are the same in the same way as some of OLO's more virulent anti-feminist posters.

Your experiences or those of the people you know are not relevant to the experiene of other women and each experience is different and as such should be respected.

I have never had to make that choice, but I know I would feel grief and regret now that I am a mother. An old friend had an abortion and still feels the pain of it today.

Many religious people seek abortions. Religion only plays a role in discussions of abortion in the public sphere but these sorts of decisions sit wholly within the private and personal domain.
Posted by pelican, Wednesday, 6 April 2011 10:38:51 AM
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@ Philo

Surgical abortion does not increase the risk of breast cancer. Around the world, reproductive health and anti-cancer organisations have rejected any association between abortion and an increased risk of breast cancer. This rejection is based on reliable scientific investigation, documented in reputable medical publications, and has been endorsed by the World Health Organisation (see http://www.awhn.org.au/content/view/27/76/#_edn1). One study published in the Lancet medical journal in 2004 was an analysis of 53 studies, involving 83,000 women with breast cancer from 16 countries, which found that ‘pregnancies that end as a spontaneous or induced abortion do not increase a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer’(Lancet 2004; 363: 1007-16).

Surgical abortion is also not a cause of future infertility or trouble carrying a pregnancy to term. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists in the UK, with a position supported by the Australian and New Zealand College, identifies that there are no proven associations between induced abortion and subsequent ectopic pregnancy, placenta praevia or infertility. RANZCOG state that 'women who have an uncomplicated termination are not at an increased risk of being infertile in the future' (http://www.ranzcog.edu.au/womenshealth/pdfs/Termination-of-pregnancy.pdf).
Posted by kate99, Wednesday, 6 April 2011 10:40:39 AM
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Yes, there is an element of relief after an abortion of an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy, however, I am told there is always a form of guilt associated with an abortion for any reason.

Women who have abortions are made to feel guilty by the words and actions of others who may never have been in their position, and by some who have deep religious objections to abortions.

Some poor women are 'forced' into abortions by their parents or partners who don't want to support her during an unplanned pregnancy. I can see sadness after these women have their abortions.

Of course the women who have abortions early in pregnancy for serious abnormalities in the foetus would most likely suffer from serious grief and depression after losing a much wanted baby.

However, at the end of the day, it is up to the pregnant woman, the baby's father, and her doctor, whether she has an abortion or not, and I am sure most women are given adequate advice before abortion is allowed these days.

It is legal in Australia, and is the woman's choice- as it should be.
Posted by suzeonline, Wednesday, 6 April 2011 1:21:01 PM
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Because we are all individual and encounter different circumstances in life I'd be reluctant to say some women have no reason to deeply regret a surgical abortion.

Example: a relative had a termination in her teens. She had no support from the father, feared her parents reaction and no financial security. In mid-twenties she married, had an ectopic pregnancy, lost a fallopian tube then failed to conceive again. The marriage eventually floundered. In her later thirties and a stable relationship she was desperate to have a baby. After many IVF attempts she conceived but miscarried at 13 weeks. More unsuccessful tries and then in her forties, they gave up. He had 2 kids by a previous but she was really sad and pondered her 'misspent youth'. However she was honest and said that back then, she could not have coped with motherhood.

I know and know of more women who have had terminations than the average citizen and will state emphatically that the majority have few or no regrets. Many will make the decision with a degree of sadness but most have been as desperate NOT to reproduce as some unfortunate couples are the opposite. Most just want it over with and are immensely relieved afterward. The occasional woman seems to experience mild 'baby blues' a couple of days afterwards - perhaps as result of the hormonal switch similar to birth. Same with women who spontaneously abort - and I wish I had $10 for every one of those who were quite delighted to have done so. Quite a few would not consider an abortion but to miscarry an unwanted pregnancy was a boon they weren't going to complain about. Is that a SIN in the pro-lifer handbook?

However it is not for any of us to judge - either a woman's decision to carry or not carry a pregnancy or whether she has a 'right' to regret anything at a later time. Suffice that if she becomes a mother by choice or accident that the child is reared with love and it's needs met.
Posted by divine_msn, Wednesday, 6 April 2011 1:27:17 PM
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Great piece well said and well done.
Posted by cornonacob, Wednesday, 6 April 2011 1:28:04 PM
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I am hesitant to get involved in this discussion and I have been told quite clearly before, that as a male I have no right. Make of that what you will.

I am equally, or even more-so hesitant, as this is such an incredibly emotional issue for all concerned and I fear causing upset or offence, especially to those who have experienced abortion. I trust that I can speak clearly and sensitively.

Some years ago, I assisted my wife in writing a major work regarding abortion in Australia. It was widely researched and well referenced. It was not written with any particular agenda. The part that has always stuck with me was the 95%+ of the over 100 000 women interviewed, who gave "inconvenient time to have a child" as the reason. (I regret that I cannot put my hand on the research at this moment but will try to post when I do).

I cannot pretend that I understand what sort of a decision this is to make. I cannot pretend that I know what it would be like to give birth to a child who was not planned or desired at the time (I hope I worded that OK). I cannot imagine what someone would go through, having made that decision. However, I also cannot get past the figure I have quoted above.

Please do not reply by asking "What about rape?" or "What about danger to the mother?" Both of those are separate issues and account for less than 1% of all abortions.

So what's my point? I guess I just want people to think a bit more about what tends to be a black and white topic in most people's minds.
Posted by rational-debate, Wednesday, 6 April 2011 2:33:21 PM
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