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The Forum > Article Comments > Gender-based Approach Misses the Mark in Tackling Family Violence > Comments

Gender-based Approach Misses the Mark in Tackling Family Violence : Comments

By Roger Smith, published 25/11/2010

On White Ribbon Day, we condemn violence against women. We should also condemn it against men.

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Benk <" As long as it is accepted that DV against men often happens and is unacceptable, male victims will be able to get the help that they need."

When have men not been able to get the help they need?
What sort of help do you mean?
Physical, social and/or psychological help? Who is telling men they can't get help?

If men are victims of DV by either other male relatives or female relatives, why can't they access the same sort of 'help' as female victims of violence?
It is all out there and available should people choose to look for it.

Huggins, it is never alright for anyone to hit you in anger- you probably deserved a good tongue lashing, but certainly not a slap.
Posted by suzeonline, Thursday, 25 November 2010 1:44:07 PM
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Huggins:”… it was times like when I stayed out late and spent all the money on beer and pokies and stuff or when i was drunk and horny. Stuff like that to be honest I was in the wrong and like i said i deserved a slap.”

Nah you didn’t Huggins. She didn’t have any right to slap you no matter whether she could swing a decent one or not.

But it might answer a previous post you left where you stated you didn’t know why she left you. She may just have been fed up with slapping you. :)
Posted by The Pied Piper, Thursday, 25 November 2010 2:29:55 PM
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Oh come off it suze, women who slap men and throw plates at them and damage their property are 'spirited', and quirky and cute.

I even sense a smug look of satisfaction from a lot of women when news stories relate women castrating their partners. Especially when it relates to cheating. Women will cheer on all sorts of violence on a cheating partner.

Why cant we all just be honest. It's not as bad for women to be violent towards men as men are expected to handle it. This is a well established societal norm. There is also a well established taboo about men hitting women for the same reasons. IN fact it's often put up as the sign of a real man who will take a womans slaps on the face and not react in any way.

Men are discouraged from even protecting themselves. If they do attempt to protect themselves and the woman gets hurt in the process, they are then the bad guys. That's all there is too it.

Women can attack men with all their might, but men must never attack women, and they must even measure how they defend themselves so nobody gets hurt. Men have a greater responsibility when domestics become violent. We hold them to higher standards of control than we do women because they are physically stronger.

It's not 'fair', but thems the breaks.

What I do object to is when shouting is defined as violence, but only when men do it. Shouting is not violence, and women can give as good as they get. As a female poster said on another thread it's a normal human reaction to emotion. Though she said that only when women do it though, when men do it it's domestic violence.
Posted by Houellebecq, Thursday, 25 November 2010 2:37:46 PM
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Huggins,
Considering the definition of domestic violence, you carried out no domestic violence, but she did.

If you want to live in a country where you are regarded as a criminal from the time an M is placed beside your name on a birth certificate, then you can fully accept feminism and feminist campaigns, because that is where the country is heading.
Posted by vanna, Thursday, 25 November 2010 3:02:55 PM
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Those ppl who say my ex shouldnt have slapped me are right but I shouldnt have treated her bad either. Also her little slaps were nothing comoared to the black eyes and bruses I see all the time on woman round here.

NOBODY should hit anybody else but when a man does it theres always much more damage than from girly slaps
Posted by Huggins, Thursday, 25 November 2010 3:16:26 PM
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Often overlooked in these debates is the fact that men between the ages of 18-23 are the most common victims of violence in our society and have been for some considerable time.
Posted by Atman, Thursday, 25 November 2010 3:53:20 PM
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