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Our future our children : Comments

By Warwick Marsh, published 19/11/2010

On International Men's Day let's think about the fathers.

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Is anyone else surprised to find out that today is International Men's Day? A strange and telling absence of any attention to it in the media or from our public figures.

A very good article, Warwick, drawing on many of the things that have been discussed here.

The constant dishonest selectivity displayed by people like McInnes is toxic to goodwill between the sexes.
Posted by Antiseptic, Friday, 19 November 2010 9:32:44 AM
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Every day is mens day
Posted by Houellebecq, Friday, 19 November 2010 10:28:55 AM
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The very idea of international mens day is a paradox. The whole idea of being a man is incompatible with having a spwecial day to dance around and hug and use talking sticks and talk and say how wonderful we are and talk and just be gay. That kind of sh1t is for women.

If there is to be an international mens day, to capture the essence of being a man, all men should totally ignore it, eat a massive steak and watch the cricket, refuse to 'communicate' with their spouse and get pissed down the pub and get into a fight. Reclaim your independence men, and stop being fooled by the feminised wishy washy feel good 'mwens day'. If you need a stupid day to feel special you really have problems. The essence of being a man is to not be appreciated and not care that you're not being appreciated. Our purpose in life is to be the 'rock', to shut up and get stuff done and cut the crap.

Am I alone in thinking it's time to ban all 'days'. It's just so lame.

Unless you have international fishing day on the same day as international animal rights day. That has potential.

'On International Men's Day let's think about the fathers.'

Why? What's to think about? You take on a responsibility and you fulfil it to the best of your ability. What do you want a farking medal?
Posted by Houellebecq, Friday, 19 November 2010 10:47:52 AM
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Yeah, sounds good but I would rather have been fatherless than grow up with the one I got.
Posted by Gorufus, Friday, 19 November 2010 10:54:48 AM
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On International Men's Day we should celebrate the right of men to make women pregnant and not have any responsibility for the resulting offspring if they don't want it.
Posted by Peter Hume, Friday, 19 November 2010 11:09:22 AM
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Noted that nearly all comments so far posted have been negative of men.

Perhaps these posters should look around and see what men have done, from installing the water tap to developing the computer screen that they are looking at.

The continuous negative thinking about men is the product of a feminist culture that only considers negative aspects of the male gender.

And much of that feminist culture has developed from the teaching of feminism in the education system.
Posted by vanna, Friday, 19 November 2010 12:11:35 PM
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I think I recall the mens day whinge this time last year. I didn’t know about today but then Mothers day snuck up on me as well and I forgot my own mother, same with fathers day. I always need reminding of these commercial affairs.

Eminem... yes all our kids should listen to his music, so lovely and soothing with words of compassion and peace for everyone. Never catch him writing abusive lyrics about the mother of his child or throwing a blow up doll in her likeness for the crowd eh. And his reworking of Mocking Bird was particularly touching wasn’t it. What an awesome example of fatherhood he truly is. Well chosen.

I know amazing fathers and step-fathers, part time fathers and men young and old, gay and straight and crippled and blind (actually I don’t know any blind men but I didn’t want to leave them out) who I cherish. And men with dyslexia and who have the sniffles right now.

Happy Mens Day babes!

And a special shout out and smooch for Houel, one of my favourite non-gay men on OLO. Oh and that dude that punched me in the face when I was a teenager… all is forgiven, good on ya mate and sorry about the low kick.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Friday, 19 November 2010 12:44:29 PM
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"Am I alone in thinking it's time to ban all 'days'."
-Houellebecq

So you wouldn't have a problem banning International Women's Day? Somehow, I can't see that idea going down to well with the feminazis of this world.
Posted by Riz Too, Friday, 19 November 2010 1:59:17 PM
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vanna
You must be reading different responses. Not one of the posts prior to yours was derogatory towards men.

Maybe we should tell the newscasters to rethink publishing any story that involves a man killing or abusing a child in case it offends any of the grown ups.

For goodness sake people, there are just as many stories in the paper about women killing their child or abusing their child by forcing them into prostitution etc. I am sure for any story about the Darcy Freeman's of the world, people like Warwick and some posters on OLO will quickly remind us of acts committed by women just to ensure the equation is perfectly balanced. Sheesh...

Please open your eyes and not let resentment blur reality.

Nothing will be achieved by one-eyed gender approaches on almost any issue.

Fathers are important. Please show me any law that has as a premise an implication that the role of fathers is defunct.

If International Men's Day has not got the publicity you would like speak to the news media. Personally I think both get about the same publicity which is not very much. This week there was an article about QLD looking at introducing a Grandparent's Day to recognise the importance of grandparents.

I am for once with Houlley on this one - No More Days please. Where does it end? Why do we need Days to recongise the importance of the bleedin' obvious.
Posted by pelican, Friday, 19 November 2010 3:46:44 PM
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Pelican,
I particularly like the one about making women pregnant.

If she gets pregnant, its all his fault.

I am left to wonder where this type of thinking came from, and who introduced it.

No. I don't wonder.

I all ready know where this type of thinking came from, and who introduced it.
Posted by vanna, Friday, 19 November 2010 4:50:20 PM
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I wonder if their are certain groups (especially Government funded ones) that support all these 'days'. I would imagine next week on white ribbon 'day' the vast majority of men who beat their women will not be participate. The cultures where this is most prevalent (mostly non anglos) will be very under represented. The feminist who manipulate and attempt to emasculate men will not take part in 'man's day.

While Mr Marsh is spot on about the need of good dads and pointing out how discriminated fathers often are I am over 'days'. They usually waste tax payers money. Then again I suspect fathers fund this day while Government sponsors women's days.
Posted by runner, Friday, 19 November 2010 5:18:00 PM
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Hahaha, I e-mailed hubby and said “happy mens day!” and got “I don’t know what that is” back. I said “It’s today!” and he goes “I still don’t know what that is”.

Umm... guys what is it? I know he is going to ask again when he gets home. Was I supposed to buy something?

Mums and Fathers day I gather the kids give you stuff to say thanks for being one. But it kind of implies you were in a mother or father role. What is mens day celebrating exactly?

And is there a womens day so I can point out to him that he missed it? Which if he did might be some kind of sexual abuse I'm thinking...
Posted by The Pied Piper, Friday, 19 November 2010 5:21:48 PM
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Happy Mens Day to all the men in my life.

My Dad - without whom I would not be here. He worked hard, died relatively young and loved and cared for his family.

To my Ex husband -who I did love- and who was a caring father and still is. I have no hate for him - we just grew apart. We get to-gether as a family (including his new wife and my partner) for family dinners, Xmas etc.

To my sons - who married wonderful women.

To my gorgous grandson who will one day enter this crazy world - I hope he learns from his dad who is a wonderful father and husband.

To my partner who has been my saviour at this time in my life.

When his "wife' walked out, it was she who has lost and I who have gained. A wonderful, caring and loving man.

Hope you had a nice day guys...
Posted by searching, Friday, 19 November 2010 5:25:30 PM
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searching,

lovely post. Maybe u should change your name to found.
Posted by runner, Friday, 19 November 2010 6:18:47 PM
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"If she gets pregnant, its all his fault"

Last I heard it takes two.
Posted by pelican, Friday, 19 November 2010 6:28:27 PM
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Happy mens day? I thought its happy mens day every day.......well it is for me:) I thought it was just another gimmick to enforce the sell of goods. However I did get something very nice today from all of my children. This morning they all ran up to me and handed me a plark saying.............

ANYONE CAN BE A FATHER, BUT IT TAKES A SPECIAL PERSON TO BE A DAD.

Now that did put a spot in the old eye.

Thanks kidds.

BLUE
Posted by Deep-Blue, Friday, 19 November 2010 7:06:57 PM
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There have been great men, there still are great men, but there are also those men who just didn't know any better...

Men should be treated with respect as their female counterparts. They do make such a difference is an upbringing of a child.

Our Future Our Children? Or HAPPY MEN'S DAY!!

Yeah, go make more homeless babies.

You have 2 heads, females have one... No wonder...
Posted by jinny, Friday, 19 November 2010 7:51:28 PM
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Here are the objectives of the Day and it is good to keep them in mind.

"Objectives of International Men's Day

- To promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and sports men but everyday, working class men who are living decent, honest lives.
- To celebrate the positive contributions men make to society, community, family, marriage, child care, and the environment.
- To focus on men's health and well-being; social, emotional, physical and spiritual.
- To highlight discrimination against men in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations and law.
- To improve gender relations and promote gender equality.
- To create a safer, better world; where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential"

So help me I cannot find anything but positives in any of the goals, but others can, apparently. Voltaire was right, “Prejudices are what fools use for reason.”
Posted by Cornflower, Friday, 19 November 2010 8:12:39 PM
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"85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes
(U.S. Center for Disease Control);
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
(U.S. Bureau of the Census);
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes
(Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978);
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes
(U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988);
85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home
(Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992).
In fact, you can pick a social ill at random and you will find that the correlation with fatherlessness is clear and direct.
Depression.
Suicide.
Dropping out of school.
Teenage pregnancy.
Drug use.
In sum, fatherless children are:
- 5 times more likely to commit suicide;
- 32 times more likely to run away;
- 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders;
- 14 times more likely to commit rape;
- 9 times more likely to drop out of high school;
- 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances;
- 9 times more likely to end up in a mental institution;
- 20 times more likely to end up in prison(1).
Fatherless children are also, according to one British study, about 33 times more likely to be abused.
In 1983, the US Department of Health and Human Services found that 60% of child abuse is inflicted by mothers with sole custody of their children.
Almost all of the rest comes from other members of her entourage, especially boyfriends and second husbands."
http://www.quebecoislibre.org/000610-9.htm
Posted by Proxy, Friday, 19 November 2010 9:18:02 PM
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Proxy, I don't think today is the right day to demand the men explain why they keep leaving homes fatherless.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Friday, 19 November 2010 9:21:47 PM
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"Two-Thirds of the Time
It’s the wife who files for divorce in about two-thirds of divorce cases, at least among couples who have children. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the proportion has changed slightly over the years; for example, in 1975, approximately 72 percent of the divorces in the U.S. were filed by women, whereas by 1988, only about 65 percent were filed by women.

The Same throughout the 19th Century
A study reported in the American Law and Economics Review in 2000, "These Boots Are Made for Walking: Why Most Divorce Filers are Women" also showed that more recently, women file more than two-thirds of divorce cases in the US. Even though the individual states’ data vary somewhat and the numbers have fluctuated over time, throughout most of the 19th century about 60 percent of divorce filings were by women.

Moreover, in some of the states where no-fault divorce was introduced, over 70 percent of the divorce filings were by women. Among college-educated couples, the percentage of divorces initiated by wives is a whopping 90 percent."
http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/faq/emotional/who-initiates-divorce-men-or-women.html
Posted by Proxy, Friday, 19 November 2010 10:00:09 PM
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As the sun sets on mens day I don't think it is appropriate to be pointing out that the smarter the woman the more likely she is to divorce her husband.

Night boys, hope you had a good one.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Friday, 19 November 2010 10:39:52 PM
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Nice posts, proxy.

TPP:"Proxy, I don't think today is the right day to demand the men explain why they keep leaving homes fatherless."

Actually, as proxy points out, most divorce is initiated by women. The intelligence of the women involved has not been tested, but obviously it can't be too high if their kids end up in your care.

I guess it's not unreasonable for you to want to protect your income. The last thing you want is for marriages to end peacefully - no conflict, no foster kids, no lovely tax-free income. Much the same motivation drives women who tell lies in court about their husband being abusive - violence = exclusivity = lots of lovely tax-free dollars.

It's not very admirable though.

Cornflower, it's revealling of a couple of the women here that they couldn;t resist the urge to try to point-score, regardless of the facts. The White Ribbon people did the same thing - running ads on tv yestreday. Funny that they could get funding to do that but no politicians could be bothered acknowledgng IMD, isn't it?

I hope IMD grows into something worthwhile. I can sympathise with the view that we have too many "days", but with the current genderised social upheaval, I think it's really important to remind some of the women around the place that men are actually humans, not just gorillas who can speak as the feminist doctrine has had it for so long.

searching, very nice post, thanks.
Posted by Antiseptic, Saturday, 20 November 2010 6:03:07 AM
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for whatever reasons the parents chooses to part ways, it is up to the parents to maintain a healthy relationship in order for the children's well being.

playing the blame game doesn't make a different in eliminating behavioral issues why a child cannot understand in their young minds the non family(complete) environment they live in.

there are plenty of single fathers who do a great job bringing their children up solo.

there are also many father's that because of how it is, are not allowed to see their children as much as they would like to as sometimes the children become bargaining chips when a parent decides to put themselves in front of their child/ren.

maybe having rules on who can have children in the future? remember the movie Gatacca? who knows..

Anti: thx for the link.. dang! now i have to do boring things as well:p
Posted by jinny, Saturday, 20 November 2010 9:08:31 AM
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Yes Anti foster parents do it only for the money, women only lie for money. Next IMD you can put that on a little sign and walk down the street waving it in case some men don’t believe that and need your wise words or warning.

Who are the white ribbon crowd?

Anti:”The intelligence of the women involved has not been tested, but obviously it can't be too high if their kids end up in your care.”

Yes yes, every single time an American college couple splits up they remove the children and place them in my home. [Sigh]

I read your post out to the man of the house, he rolled his eyes. This amazing man that cares for other fathers’ children and last tax year paid his $17,850 plus 38c for each $1 over $80,000.

This is the support you give him? :)

We do not profit from children coming into our care Anti. The opportunity is there to profit if we fostered through an NGO but we refuse to work for them because we have seen that privatizing foster care harms children
Posted by The Pied Piper, Saturday, 20 November 2010 2:28:41 PM
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Back to the theme of the article.

Chatting with some friends overseas, International Men's Day does seem to be undeveloped and misunderstood in Australia, which is rather surprising given the potential benefit for men and boys and for society generally that could come from its observance.

I was directed to these charming videos and an article which I did realise were available:

videos
http://www.international-mens-day.com/page4.php

article
http://www.international-mens-day.com/Dr_Warren_Farrell.php

It's all good, more information never hurt anyone. It is pleasing to see women and families participating overseas, but it does raise the question why Australian leaders and editors are apparently so uninterested. Anyhow, it was good to hear some men speak about themselves.
Posted by Cornflower, Saturday, 20 November 2010 5:34:16 PM
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'NOT ALL MEN ARE BAD': In Orlando, Soweto, South Africa, thousands of men gathered on International Men's Day to promote gender equality and to refute the stereotypical notion that all men are dogs and bad people.

Hahahaha....

"A good man is someone who respects other people… and who respect woman as well…”

Hahahaha...

“Real men do not abuse women, real men do not mistreat children”.

Hahahaha...

I think I wet myself. Corny those vids were terrible, I think you just set the mens agenda back a decade.

I haven't laughed so much in ages... How could you do this to men?

It must be a huge comfort to all the perfectly normal lovely men in the world that they aren't really dogs. And the indian chicks dancing while the dude rushes around trying to give them water... Hahahaha...
Posted by The Pied Piper, Saturday, 20 November 2010 6:58:16 PM
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The Pied Piper,

Couldn't resist, could you?
Posted by Cornflower, Saturday, 20 November 2010 7:09:52 PM
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Cornflower:"Couldn't resist, could you?"

Funny how the walk conspicupusly fails to match the talk.
Posted by Antiseptic, Saturday, 20 November 2010 7:28:40 PM
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Sounds like men feeling sorry for themselves.We have created our own cesspool of avarice.So don't complain when it all turns sour.
Posted by Arjay, Saturday, 20 November 2010 10:54:01 PM
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Arjay, you hit the nail directly on the head!

Damn, I missed international men's day...

A belated happy men's day to all the men on this site who never seem to have a happy day because they are too busy hating women.

Onya guys :)
Posted by suzeonline, Sunday, 21 November 2010 12:52:33 AM
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Me in the opening post:"The constant dishonest selectivity displayed by people like McInnes is toxic to goodwill between the sexes."

Suzeonline, last post:"all the men on this site who never seem to have a happy day because they are too busy hating women."

Oh look, the toxin has spread.

Arjay, you're right that this is a cesspool of our own creation. Men were foolish enough to try to make the women in their lives happy by giving them what they claimed they wanted. Of course, that meant giving the women who wanted to be men what they wanted as well, but blokes are prepared to compromise, so no worries.

Now, the women who want to be men are demanding ever more power, while demanding ever more handouts for the women who want to be paid for, using the legislation that was created to make it fair for men and women to make it unfair for men.

What a contemptible farce.
Posted by Antiseptic, Sunday, 21 November 2010 5:26:29 AM
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Our local council put on a sausage sizzle for internatonal mens day and it was great but it was too early to have a beer too

How come its only men that cook snags on the barbie
Posted by Huggins, Sunday, 21 November 2010 8:15:42 AM
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And sausage envy is what it all comes down to.
Posted by Proxy, Sunday, 21 November 2010 8:27:24 AM
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Huggins,

That is interesting. I know of a public school that celebrates International Women's Day, and the boy students are required to cook a barbecue breakfast for the girl students. Each girl in the school also receives a little badge, and various women talk to the girls.

I put it to the school at a P&C meeting that they should celebrate International Men's Day as well, but they wouldn't do it.

The general opinion of the teachers was that males are already "privileged" and in a position of power and do not need anything else.

This is the normal attitude taken by the vast majority of feminists, and just regurgitated by the teachers in the feminist education system
Posted by vanna, Sunday, 21 November 2010 8:34:20 AM
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Initial post:
<<Among college-educated couples, the percentage of divorces initiated by wives is a whopping 90 percent>>

Response:
<<the smarter the woman the more likely she is to divorce her husband>>

Subsequent post:
<<This is the normal attitude taken by the vast majority of feminists, and just regurgitated by the teachers in the feminist education system>>

This alludes to the falsity of the common assumption that being educated and being smart are somehow synonymous.

It is highly likely that the woman who gets an A+ in Feminist Victimology 101 is the same woman who is unable to sustain a relationship with a man.

Call me naive but I believe that most normal women would rather enjoy a satisfying relationship with a man than continue to regurgitate the feminist rant they were imbued with in university thereby alienating most normal men.

Feminist indoctrination leads to doctrinaire feminists.
Posted by Proxy, Sunday, 21 November 2010 9:52:12 AM
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Leads to relationship breakdown.
Posted by Proxy, Sunday, 21 November 2010 9:54:34 AM
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Thus undermining the future of our children.
Posted by Proxy, Sunday, 21 November 2010 9:55:55 AM
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I read your comments Proxy and I sort of mumbled to the screen “I don’t feel like fighting with the men today”.

Hubby goes “so you have finally learnt your place?”

Hahaha.

Proxy: “Call me naive but I believe that most normal women would rather enjoy a satisfying relationship with a man than continue to regurgitate the feminist rant they were imbued with in university thereby alienating most normal men.”

Back at ya baby… I know most men would rather enjoy a satisfying relationship with a woman rather than regurgitate the mens rants that alienate woman here.

I imagine the men smell more women smell more arguments are a joke to most people lurking. At least here in this thread it feels on topic but I wish both would stop diluting the other threads. Every single thing has been said already and no one from either side has come up with something new to prove who smells the most.

I reckon feelings stopped being hurt long ago and passion dribbled away on each side and both are now just going through the motions like an old married couple.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Sunday, 21 November 2010 10:31:03 AM
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Everyboddy would be happier if men stick to being men and ladies stick to being ladies like God intended

Pastor Warwick is on the right track
Posted by Huggins, Sunday, 21 November 2010 10:41:29 AM
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Perhaps educated women are more likely to divorce, because they are more likely to marry.
Posted by benk, Monday, 22 November 2010 8:01:52 AM
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antisepic,

I'm with you. The whole idea of equality with women is crazy. Men foolishly thought that when women said they wanted equality they actually wanted equality. And that when they said they wanted choice they actually just wanted more choice.

What men should have known is that you can never please women. Women aren't interested in putting women on the moon or solving the world's energy problems; they only care about power, and specifically power over men.

The best way to obtain that power was through sex and children. So we got the child abuse hysteria to deligitimize and then demonize men. Once demonized, the removal of fathers from children's lives became a fait accompli. Children were soon seen as the property of mothers. Fathers need only send a cheque once a month to provide the women with the 'choice' she required.

Now we are all 'equal'.
Posted by dane, Monday, 22 November 2010 5:37:49 PM
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[Deleted. Off topic and poster is a spammer.]
Posted by Moris, Monday, 22 November 2010 7:52:25 PM
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Pfft.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Monday, 22 November 2010 7:54:33 PM
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I don't know the statistics, but do you ever ask why women instigate divorce?

If any of you who are divorced can truly say you were totally innocent and were the perfect husband and it was all on her - then you are truly a rare human being. Where are all these perfect men.

Fact is women and men are not perfect.

Marriage breakdown does not just come out of the ether. If someone is in a loveless marriage (women or men) or they are with an unfaithful partner and have already forgiven them a number of times, always with the promise that it will never happen again, there comes a point where someone might say enough is enough and seek something better.

Perhaps educated women are more self-sufficient and are less prepared to accept those attributes that some women seem to put up with. Forgiveness is worthy but how many times? Many women are now less likely to stay with an abusive partner? Why should she? How is staying a positive outcome for either party including children?

It is a natural human need to feel loved. It does not have to be a romance novel, but there has to be at least respect, at least a liking for their partner, friendship and companionship.

If those ingredients aren't there marriages will often breakdown even if some attempt to improve the relationship through counselling or other means, but it has to take two.

What happens when there is only one person vested in the relationship - it will break down.

Fact of life.
Posted by pelican, Tuesday, 23 November 2010 11:45:53 AM
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I'd say the main reason women initiate divorce is that the guy cant be assed filling out the paperwork.

If you relate the stat to stereotypes, as pelican has just done, I think men treat marriage more seriously than women. That's why men see 'til death to us part' as so scary. Women call these men 'commitment phobes'. Men really see the 'til death' part, and want to be sure before they are committed. Women I think are blinded a bit because the wedding day is ALL about the woman, and they have been brought up looking forward to being a princess for a day. Some either just don't think beyond that, or think that they will 'mould' their man as time goes by.

So, we have a few extraneous circumstances in a marriage.

a) It's just easier to keep men happy. It really is. If you leave a guy alone enough and don't nag when he watches sport and put out enough he's set. But with chicks, if you don't have deep and meaningful conversations every day and romantic walks along the beach and love visiting her mother and vacuum even when the floor is clean she'll never be truly happy. Well, certainly not as happy as the chicks in celebrity magazines and their friends seem to be. Although, if you don't do any of this and just compliment her once a week that works pretty good too until she catches on.

b) The *perception* of men is that they'll have more to lose when the marriage breaks up. The woman is more than likely assuming they'll be in the same house with the kids and be paid child support, while the man assumes they will be living in a 1 bed flat on their own seeing the kids on weekends and still paying the mortgage.

I don't think any of these divorced men here are claiming they were the perfect husband, just that they made a commitment 'til death do us part'. They took it seriously.
Posted by Houellebecq, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 8:19:33 AM
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My ex and me swore ""til death us do part"" BUT she kicked me out anyway I dont know why to this day. After a while SHE divorsed me and i hear shes going to UNI now AND shes got the kids!
Posted by Huggins, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 8:28:57 AM
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Houlley
You accuse me of relating stats to stereotypes and then continue to make broad genderalisations (stereotypes) about women and men. The biggest generalisation being that men take their marriage vows more seriously than women. That has to be a wind up, so I won't take that one seriously.

People are people first, gender second, marriage breakdown has nothing to do with gender. The only difference feminism has made to marriage breakdown is the opportunity for women to leave an abusive relationship. (As much as some of you like to pretend they don't exist except where woman is perpetrator)

These days men and women are able to access shared parenting arrangments, so there is no 'risk' for men in breaking up a relationship. The only caveat is of course where there is abuse on either side, where the husband or wife gets sole custody.
Posted by pelican, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 8:50:11 AM
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Hahaha pelican you have such double standards. Yes I did write that to put a mirror up to all your assumptions about women always being forced to leave the cheating or emotionally distant man who refuses counselling.

'Perhaps educated women are more self-sufficient and are less prepared to accept those attributes that some women seem to put up with. Forgiveness is worthy but how many times? Many women are now less likely to stay with an abusive partner? Why should she? How is staying a positive outcome for either party including children?

It is a natural human need to feel loved. It does not have to be a romance novel, but there has to be at least respect, at least a liking for their partner, friendship and companionship.

If those ingredients aren't there marriages will often breakdown even if some attempt to improve the relationship through counselling or other means, but it has to take two.

What happens when there is only one person vested in the relationship - it will break down.'

Yes these days women no longer have to stay in abusive relationships due to financial necessity, now it is men who often stay in loveless and sexless marriages with the nagging emotionally manipulative wife, as they know that to the primary carer goes the house and majority custody, and to the primary earner goes the mortgage repayments.
Posted by Houellebecq, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 11:30:33 AM
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"Yes these days women no longer have to stay in abusive relationships due to financial necessity, now it is men who often stay in loveless and sexless marriages with the nagging emotionally manipulative wife, as they know that to the primary carer goes the house and majority custody, and to the primary earner goes the mortgage repayments."

That might be the case. I don't pretend to speak for all women or all men, I am only responding to some of the 'set in concrete' claims made by some of the male posters in this thread in regards to generalisations about women and divorce.

You can interchange 'woman' with 'man' at anytime in any of those statements as most reasonable people don't always think of things in terms of gender. I used the term 'woman' as it is women being demonised by the usual bitter and twisteds. If someone hoes into the all men are B's diatribe, I will also be defending them in like terms, but one rarely encounters that on OLO.

If you can't see that then perhaps you should turn your mirror around.

I don't really give a toss about whether a male/female is reluctant to go to counselling or is aloof or whatever. We all make our own decisions about all matters personal - it really does not matter what any of us think.

More fool anyone who stays in an abusive relationship whether it be physical or emotional. Women don't get full custody anymore, it is shared parenting except in obvious circumstances.

What happened to your moderating touch?
Posted by pelican, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 12:49:10 PM
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I'm just getting back to my divisive roots pelican. Pipers resurgence has encouraged me to re-live my glory days. This place used to be fun.
Posted by Houellebecq, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 1:46:42 PM
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Typical bloody male found a female to blame.

:P
Posted by The Pied Piper, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 3:53:36 PM
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Yes behind every great man is a great woman.

Behind the bad men there isn't a woman in sight!
Posted by Houellebecq, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 4:18:59 PM
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"Behind the bad men there isn't a woman in sight!"

She is too busy doing the washing up.

:P

(Hopefully humour is still allowed on OLO)
Posted by pelican, Thursday, 25 November 2010 8:14:39 AM
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