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The Forum > Article Comments > Changing men, changing times > Comments

Changing men, changing times : Comments

By Peter West, published 14/7/2010

Book review: 'Men’s Health and Wellbeing: An A-Z Guide' fills a gap on our bookshelves with some sound advice for men.

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"Personally, I'm not particularly keen on most 'leaders' I've encountered, but I understand that many people seem to need leadership - but I'm not at all sure that it's a gendered thing."

That pretty much sums it for me.

I can think of a few people who've been significant influences at key times. When I was a christian John Smith was someone I saw approaching life from some perspectives that I found inspirational. I loved the writing of Adrian Plass and at times been well challenged by an american sociologist Tony Campolo.

Smith and Capolo probably classify as leaders but both seem to do so in a way that's not just outward statements but reflected in how they live and the journey's they have chosen.

I've also really enjoyed work by Robert Fulghum and Patrick McManus.

Another writer who has really resonated at times is Barry Lopez.

I've not found or made enough opportunities to spend time with others for some years chewing the fat on some of the things that really resonate with me.

R0bert
Posted by R0bert, Friday, 16 July 2010 4:19:08 PM
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C J Morgan, "Interesting that you think we should be "meeting regularly in cafes to share some sun and conversation" - what, like women do?"

No, like men do in some countries and I would say it is increasingly common for young men in Australia to do. Many of the senior managers and professionals I know are the same. Interesting you would see men as feminine for doing it though.

C J Morgan, "I agree with Severin and Pynchme that your question "...who do men look to for leadership in Australia. Are there particular writers, philosophers, academics of worth?" is an interesting one."

It is an interesting question and no, I didn't really expect you to be anything other than inane, dismissive and frivolous in reply. That seems to be your way where men's issues are concerned.

What Peter West is trying to do and I agree with him, is stimulate discussion among men. Now maybe that is not something you might favour, but it is long needed as shown by many of the serious preventable chronic conditions suffered by men and the number of suicides - especially by youth and seniors.
Posted by Cornflower, Friday, 16 July 2010 4:28:54 PM
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RObert,

Have you ever come across Steve Biddulph's Manhood or Michael Green's book on divorce? Green's book is worthwhile for both sexes, as is Biddulph's books.

What about some of the men on this site?

http://www.manhood.com.au/manhood.nsf/SpecialAdv!OpenPage
Posted by Cornflower, Friday, 16 July 2010 4:38:12 PM
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On a serious note: when my husband had some very serious health proplems the male doctor (rural town and only one dr) rejected, minimised and stalled him. The dr treated my beloved as though he was malingering.

When my husband was eventualy transferred to a major regional hospital and operated on for bowel cancer, infection caused further problems. While I was sitting at his bedside I observed that the male drs seem to have an attitude that men are tough and tough men will tough it out.

This odd male expectation meant that my husband's condition deteriorated until things were critical. After a few more ops, heart attack etc, things eventually turned out ok, my beloved is now fine, but the attitude of male drs towards men is part of the male health problem I suspect.

We now see a lovely young female dr in a nearby town and she listens carefully to my husband's health concerns and never belittles him. The attitude difference between male and female drs is amazing.

I think men should be demanding more from their drs as they can easily be put off by unsympathetic drs who expect their patients to man up and tough it out.
Posted by Aka, Sunday, 18 July 2010 11:59:15 AM
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To be fair, in hospital the head surgeon was a great bloke and did not display this attitude, but most of his underlings did. The ICU drs and male nurses were also terrific and without fault.

I am positive that not all male drs are the same, just as I know not all female drs are warm and sympathetic.

But I believe that drs who don't listen, or belittle and minimise concerns should be held accountable and taken to task.

I would like to see men demand a better service from drs who don't take them seriously.
Posted by Aka, Sunday, 18 July 2010 12:20:57 PM
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Aka: particularly in response to your experience:

Parents (both) are responsible for much male adult behaviour.

Fathers DO regularly say to very young males 'don't be a wuss'/ 'what are you a baby'? That kind of stuff.

Mums will tell young males that they are now 'the man of the house'.

None of these things are- in general* meant to harm. But they DO harm. (*And far more male toddlers are physically abused by men,-because they have not 'shaped up'/ not been 'a man').

I am convinced that MOST males have this indoctrination from early childhood.

It has an ongoing impact. And it causes (I'm not going to say 'can cause'), damage to that male, and in his attitude to others.

This attitude to toddler/ child/ adolescent males is so endemic that we don't even acknowledge that it is happening.
Posted by Ginx, Sunday, 18 July 2010 12:47:24 PM
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