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The Forum > Article Comments > St Valentine’s Day as the ultimate cliché? > Comments

St Valentine’s Day as the ultimate cliché? : Comments

By Joel Bevin, published 12/2/2010

Is St Valentine's Day simply a cop-out; a day reserved for Disney, Hallmark and Cadbury?

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Joel, you seem like a nice young chap and I can tell that you're unemployed (consulting) and without a female companion, otherwise you'd never write such a prevaricating article.

First of all you should know who I am. I am Cheryl and I control the markets. You might think that Adam Smith's invisible hand was the prime mover, but no, it's me. And here's the lowdown cobber ... I really want Cadbury, Hallmark, etc to make a lot of money on St V's Day, OK? OKAY? You wouldn't believe how angry I get when people start whining over marketing.

Secondly, I want you on the evening of 13 Feb to ask a complete stranger out. Here's a hint: pick someone you like. You'll get rejections but that's only evidence of probability at work. If you approach a lot of women and you don't have outrageous standards and you can walk and talk, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

The fact you're at uni is a worry because it means you're probably poor as a church mouse. Hide that fact on the first date. Say you're working in marketing, because mate, that's what you'll be doing when you graduate.

Now take the girl out on the first date on Feb 14, buy her a heart shaped chocolate, but also remind her that it doesn't mean 'we're engaged'. Try pay for the dinner too, but be mindful that some women will think you're trying to get in to their pants - which you are.
Posted by Cheryl, Friday, 12 February 2010 11:45:51 AM
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Fabulous response Cheryl; am in fits of laughter especially your business/marketing comment; I LOVE it! May you be healthy happy and prosperous through life.
Posted by we are unique, Friday, 12 February 2010 4:50:09 PM
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Joel, what it comes down to is that most girls love schmalz. That
is the reality of the female brain, most of the time.

They don't want to hear the truth, they want their emotional buttons
pushed.

So you should go out and find a girl like maybe Cheryl. Tell her
what she wants to hear. Tell her that she is wonderful, tell her
that she is beautiful, tell her that she is intelligent, tell
her that she is the one in a million that you have been searching
for all your life.

Valentines day, well shower her with flowers and chocolates.

She'll feel so great that most likely she'll bonk you silly.
If she doesent, time to move on, another 9 are waiting and the
odds are very much in your favour.

Fact is that the majority of women are slaves to their emotions
and those emotional buttons are just waiting for you.

And after all that rejection, girls like Cheryl might finally
even get lucky :)

.
Posted by Yabby, Friday, 12 February 2010 10:36:03 PM
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You'll need more than a hunk of meat on a string to get me Yabby.
Posted by Cheryl, Saturday, 13 February 2010 8:12:44 AM
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The Japanese have a different take on Valentine's Day... on Valentine's Day women are supposed to give men gifts etc....

Men are supposed to return the favour on White Day (which is the 14th of March)

Double the fun and double the romance...
Posted by WeAreAllOne, Saturday, 13 February 2010 9:26:09 AM
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Joel I identify with your sentiments about valentines day.
The odd thing about these ‘celebrations’ of human behaviour, is the distinct feeling that you are being funnelled into believing something that you are unsure about the true meaning of.
When you go on a journey to discover what that is, there are suprises like saint valentine had nothing to do with romantic love.
There is something inherently positive in these days that are hard to ignore, I wonder sometimes if our evolutionary minds are trained to feel good on days of giving.
Shakespeare says it best:
To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.
—William Shakespeare , Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5
Posted by bluealien, Saturday, 13 February 2010 7:46:19 PM
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Joel, since we first came out of the trees and noted the annual passage of the sun and moon, we have marked days - start with Stonehenge, built to mark mid-summer. The solstices. The first day of spring. The day the birds return. And as we evolved into more and more complex communities, we added days of celebration and remembrance, of festivity and solemnity. It's called being human.

The moon returns every month and such is our connection to our following orb that we seem to need to have at least one celebration or special day per month. Look at the calender Christmas. Australia Day. Easter. Anzac Day. Mothers Day. Mid-winter (Ozmas). Independence Day. Fathers Day. Grand Final day. Melbourne Cup. Etc ad nauseum. Whoops - no day for February. A quick look at the possibilities - what about Valentine? As you say, another chance to market nonsense. At least the "Saint" bit has been dropped.

I agree it's crass and commercialised and carbon negative, but trying to stop humans celebrating anything will take more than a universal regard for sense and taste. We can fight the forces of commercialism by either completely ignoring them - no doubt you remember home made Christmas cards, Mothers' Dat flowers picked in gardens, Easter eggs coloured at home and given to family in lieu of chocolates. Or we can celebrate every day, spontaneously, whatever we feel like. Which of course is how it all started.
Posted by levihenri, Saturday, 13 February 2010 10:29:23 PM
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As human beings I think we should always being striving for integrity. Our actions should be consistent with our thoughts and feelings. It creates stress when they are not.

Feelings of affection that spring to life in response to the turnover of the calendar must, by the very nature of affection, be suspect. We feel affection for someone because they demonstrate values or behaviour that we find attractive. It is a natural reaction to what someone else does that may or may not result in some display of that affection. Displays of affection which are not such responses are at best contrived and at worst quite dishonest.

The fact that so many people show public and private displays of affection on the very same day of every year must raise some suspicions about the integrity of their actions. It is a hard to believe that they are all responding to a coordinated display of attractive values and behaviour of their partners. Life just does not work out that neatly. Affection is also not something that can be stored and poured out in a torrent on 14 February. It is a feeling that comes and goes like any other feeling. It should be responded to when it is felt and people who display affectionate behaviour when they do not feel it are obviously trying to meet some other type of need.

Often Valentine's Day is more about trying to display the fact that one is in a 'loving' relationship because in the mind of many people the lack of such a relationship is some kind of stigma. It can also be an attempt to try and rekindle sentiments that were felt in the early stages of a relationship. Romantic feelings are not a response to another person but to an unmet need that we project on to that person and the attempt to artificially re-create them is just sentimentality. It is trying to get back to feelings which are akin to being on drugs. None of those things have anything in common with love.
Posted by phanto, Sunday, 14 February 2010 6:29:52 PM
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I think that it's nice to maintain any celebrations or days that encourage us as a whole to prioritize the giving part of relationships with others.

However, I have never been big on obligatory gifts - either giving or receiving. I would much rather others NOT see my birthday; Valentine's day or any other day as a chore. I'd rather a hug given in real affection any day of the year than a gift given because people thought they'd better comply or else.

I'm afraid I am the same sort of giver as well. Absent minded about obligatory days, but sincere and generous anyway. I give often and am often overwhelmed with signs of affection, including gifts, given to me. Love it to just be out of the blue. I love the look on peoples' faces when I give them something that I picked up, wrapped and all that, simply because they were in my thoughts.
Posted by Pynchme, Sunday, 14 February 2010 7:23:48 PM
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